Monday, July 2, 2012

An update on life

Summer is definitely here around these parts.  It's been hot!  Patrick has a little plastic pool that we pull out most weekends we are at home and after a few hours in the sun, it's warm.  On his own time, he likes to crawl in and out of the pool and then over to the sandbox we made for him and gets all sandy.  He prefers to toss the sand out of the sandbox and move the toys around... he hasn't quite realized he should be scoping and buiding with the sand.  Ah well, that will come.
Patrick continues to get more and more personable.  He understands when things are said to him, little things.  Like, "where's cooper?" he looks around or goes crawling off laughing to find and womp cooper.  Poor dog looks at us daily with the face, "when is this kid leaving? Cuz he keeps pulling my fur, wacking me on the back and touching my feet!"  But she is a good dog and puts up with mischief.  If she's not in the mood, she takes herself out of the situation.  Many evenings, I'll go upstairs after Patch has gone to bed and there's Cooper, laying on his bedroom floor.  She loves him, I know it.
We are finishing half our basement this summer with the help of Joc's dad, Mike.  He's a contractor and has all these tools and machines and the experience to help us with less cost than hiring someone.  Because of that, it will take a couple months to be finished but it's farther than it was last year when it was only a dream.  We are planning an additional bedroom with a double bed, and a family room/TV room area.  That will free up our current study for when/if we have more kids and need the rooms upstairs (we'd move our room to the study).  We've picked most of the materials out and Mike will be here in a couple weekends to put in some egress windows.  It's exciting!
As usual, I'm unhappy in my job.  It waxes and wanes but lately I've been irritable and tired.  I just feel tired.  It's a thankless job really, middle management.  I'm in flux though.  Simulation is my favorite part of the job, but it's not as important to the people in the higher ivory towers as I think it is.  Being a simulation coordinator is a full time job in itself and I've been doing it with my other duties.  I'm exhausted, mentally.  I'm hoping the next week off will help clear my head.  I have something on the horizon.  I'm not sure what to make of it.  For now, I need to apply for it and see what happens.  I have a lot of guilt.  There is a lot I would leave behind, I'd leave my coworkers in a lurch and there's a lot of time I've invested.  But how do you say, "no, I can't do this because I'm considering leaving my position and I don't want to leave you hanging when I'm gone."  Ba.  It's hard.  It's all very hard to swallow.