Last night while reading Frozen (the book version) to Patrick in bed, he asked about Elsa and Anna's parents and what happened to them. I told him they had died and went to heaven. I asked him if that was sad and he said yes. He paused to consider it further and I said, "you would be sad if the moms died, wouldn't you." And he responded, "yeah. And who would take me to school and take care of us?" And I told him he wouldn't be alone and that his auntie Michelle would come and stay with them and his moms would always be in his heart. He seemed pleased with this answer and I continued in the book only to be interrupted by him saying, "if I died, the moms would be so sad and I would be all alone." I was instantly overtaken by tears and emotions and promptly told him, "you would not be alone, God would find you and Uncle Brian and Grandpa Roger and Uncle Mike, you'd never be alone".
My 34 year old brain and heart knows that both those scenarios are plausible, I pray and hope and pray that they never come true, but I was overcome with emotion for a few minutes (and again now as I type this) as I considered briefly these losses. Patrick seemed content and let it go, for which I'm glad. I continue to think of it throughout my day today. These conversations are hard, is it ok to discuss this stuff with a 4 year old? Does he understand it enough? Am I scarring or scaring him? I hope I'm doing the right thing.
I am continuously amazed that Patrick's mind, thoughts and heart. I pray I get to witness him grow into a lovely man.