Thin

Feeling spread a bit thin lately, forgetting important things in life and allowing unimportant things to become forefront. It's supposed to be summer, right? I'm off school for another month (only) and yet I feel like I haven't accomplished anything this summer. Sigh! Life is tough (c:

Weather is cool around here, and when I say "cool" I mean 70s with minimal humidity. It's actually quite nice to sit around and not sweat while breathing but it'd also be great to have a little of that so the winter feels good when it arrives too soon. I'm not complaining, don't get me wrong, it just feels like spring still and maybe that's why I'm feeling laze faire about things.

I've been offered a pretty sweet opportunity from MSU and the state, a significant amount of money to finish school and teach in the state of MI. I've applied, now the state is "working on it" and I should hear by August 5th, but don't hold your breath because I was supposed to hear the first time by June 28th, then it turned into July 14th and now August 5th... I haven't said it to many people, for fear it won't come through and I'll be footing the bill for my last two semesters of grad school, but it feels more real and it sounds like as soon as the state figures their stuff out, I'll have a check in my mailbox burning a hole in my pocket. As nice as this money is, it also brings a tough decision for me, one I thought I was completely ready to make but now am not so sure. I suppose, as always, life will work itself out for me and Joc and what I'm "supposed" to do will fall right into my lap (okay, maybe I'll have to work just a little for it, but you get what I mean). I'm attempting to not focus on it too much, until I get the official word and know for a certainty the money is in the checking account and the bills are paid. But that's hard too. I'm not complaining, just talking it out. I might be a little vague here, but I don't want to divulge too much too early so there is a reason for my aloofness.

First triathlon of the season is tomorrow! Tri del sol kicks off with the first heat of swimmers at 8 a.m.(that'll be jennifer and I!!) My nerves are definitely setting in (which is good, the adrenaline helps), I'm pretty excited. So, no big workouts today, maybe a light bike this evening or an easy swim... then a 1/2 mile swim, 18 mile bike and 4.5 mile run on Saturday morning!!! Think of Jennifer and I tomorrow or come out to spectate in Middleville at Camp Manitou (YMCA) we'd love to hear the cheers!!

Girls just want to have fun

Happy 4th of July. Tonight (the 2nd of July), I'm sitting in the peaceful (except for my damn neighbors shooting off M80s) evening air, listening to some newly downloaded tunes and thinking about life. This year is already half way over, do you guys realize that? How can it all go so fast?
I was at my grandparent's house the last couple days and I see how they have aged, gracefully and beautifully, but definitely aged. I hear them refer to their own deaths and it hit me that that can't be that far off. They are both in their upper 80s (respectfully) and no one lives forever.
Some pedestrian died this morning crossing the street, a 40 year old woman self-medicated with Tylenol for pain and killed her liver which killed her, a 50 year old man road his bike to the ER with crushing chest pain and proceeded to die... I'm sure the list could go on. Constant reminders of life's preciousness and the thought that not one of us knows that we will live to see tomorrow. Some idiot is bound to blow his/her hand off this holiday weekend setting off fireworks (at this moment, I'm secretly hoping it's my neighbor and his M80s!!), or be in a boating accident. People will say it was "unexpected" and tragic.
I didn't start this entry to write about death, I've just been lead this way. I hate being asked to plan for the next 5 years. What if somethign happens that requires I change the plans before then? What then? Man, as much as I like to know what's coming I still prefer to be in the dark just a bit ya know?
I saw My Sister's Keeper last week, read the book awhile ago and now finished it off with the movie. A tearjerker, no question about that, but a changed ending from the book which sort of made the book so tragic and sweet and unexpectedly touching. One sister, who couldn't survive without her sister, the other who has the role of keeping her sister alive... tragic. (if you read the book, you'd understand that last fragmented thought)
Signing off now, I'm just a bit jumbled tonight. Dreaming of heaven and what's next in life.
Happy 4th of July! Enjoy your summers.