Happy day.
Just a brief posting today, already December.
Working on completing class stuff, just one last journal submission due Friday and I'm home free for the rest of December! I can't wait to read a book not related to nursing education, not that I mind my books for school it's just nice to mix it up with a little bit of a plot here and there.
Heading to work for another couple hours of meetings, seriously it gets old being so involved. (c: Not really.
Tacky Christmas sweater party Saturday, my house, 7pm. Wear your tackiest sweater and bring a white elephant gift. We have some beer, munchies... should be fun. Let me know if you want to come and I'll get you my address. Bound to be a romping good time!
Some plans for the holidays, did some shopping over the weekend, mostly for myself. Opps!
That's about it y'all!
Hope your holidays are shaping up nicely.
Ho ho ho!
Tuesday, December 8, 2009
Friday, November 27, 2009
If heaven were a pie...
November is winding down, it pains me to type this because I wish fall would stick around a little longer and mostly because I have two large papers/projects to turn in by the first couple weeks of December. Ugh.
I really don't have much going on right now, being part time and all (c: As Joc likes to tell people when they ask how my new schedule is treating me, "She has more time to watch TV" oooo I want to kick her butt every time she says that! Back in GR now after a nice Turkey Day meal and short couple days in Cadillac. Michelle came up, Lucas was hanging out while Jules and David work on their house, and it was just the thing I needed to remind myself just how thankful I am for all life has dealt me, well us as a family. And now I'm sitting at the table, working on one of the aforementioned project/papers and wishing it were another day and I could put aside the papers and curl up with the dogs and read one of the many books burning a hole on my shelf and calling my name. Soon... so soon.
Listening to some music as I work. I opened up a playlist that hasn't seen the light of day in a while and many memories are pushing forward. I tie a lot of meaning to lyrics and songs, I find that many of them are very applicable to life lived. Makes me melancholy to absorb the words and think of old times. I have many "old country" songs on my list, some Jim Reeves, Conway Twitty, Johnny Cash, Patsy Cline, etc. My dad loved country, listened to it a lot. He cried the night Conway Twitty died, real tears. I remember that night, I don't recall if Brian had died yet or not, I think so, but it was on the radio that Conway had died and I remember my dad with tears in his eyes and on his cheeks. I had not seen many tears from him. I remember that every Saturday night we would watched some TV show in the living room and at the same time in the kitchen there was a 1800 in the USA show on the radio. People called in to request songs (think Delilah or KC Kasum) and many of the songs I associate with my youth were played. Every time you walked into the kitchen there was that show and some song playing or a sappy story being told. Sigh. We used to have Billy Rae Cyrus' first tape of his Achie Breakie Heart in the car and we'd play it loud as Jules and my dad and I drove around the lake. I probably know most of those words still if I were to put it on.
I imagine my friends and family remembering me with songs someday when this life is done with me. Sometimes, a song can really say everything you can't or don't know how to. A good song can stop you and make you hit repeat to listen again.
Christmas is around the corner, hard to believe another year is so close to the end and a new one is set to begin. What's in store for me?
Love to all.
I really don't have much going on right now, being part time and all (c: As Joc likes to tell people when they ask how my new schedule is treating me, "She has more time to watch TV" oooo I want to kick her butt every time she says that! Back in GR now after a nice Turkey Day meal and short couple days in Cadillac. Michelle came up, Lucas was hanging out while Jules and David work on their house, and it was just the thing I needed to remind myself just how thankful I am for all life has dealt me, well us as a family. And now I'm sitting at the table, working on one of the aforementioned project/papers and wishing it were another day and I could put aside the papers and curl up with the dogs and read one of the many books burning a hole on my shelf and calling my name. Soon... so soon.
Listening to some music as I work. I opened up a playlist that hasn't seen the light of day in a while and many memories are pushing forward. I tie a lot of meaning to lyrics and songs, I find that many of them are very applicable to life lived. Makes me melancholy to absorb the words and think of old times. I have many "old country" songs on my list, some Jim Reeves, Conway Twitty, Johnny Cash, Patsy Cline, etc. My dad loved country, listened to it a lot. He cried the night Conway Twitty died, real tears. I remember that night, I don't recall if Brian had died yet or not, I think so, but it was on the radio that Conway had died and I remember my dad with tears in his eyes and on his cheeks. I had not seen many tears from him. I remember that every Saturday night we would watched some TV show in the living room and at the same time in the kitchen there was a 1800 in the USA show on the radio. People called in to request songs (think Delilah or KC Kasum) and many of the songs I associate with my youth were played. Every time you walked into the kitchen there was that show and some song playing or a sappy story being told. Sigh. We used to have Billy Rae Cyrus' first tape of his Achie Breakie Heart in the car and we'd play it loud as Jules and my dad and I drove around the lake. I probably know most of those words still if I were to put it on.
I imagine my friends and family remembering me with songs someday when this life is done with me. Sometimes, a song can really say everything you can't or don't know how to. A good song can stop you and make you hit repeat to listen again.
Christmas is around the corner, hard to believe another year is so close to the end and a new one is set to begin. What's in store for me?
Love to all.
Monday, November 16, 2009
My teaching adventures
I am a part time employee officially. It feels.... lazy. Especially when people keep asking me, "So, how many days are you working now?" and I have to respond, "2".
I completed my three official teaching sessions. I had a really good time too! In case you are interested, and even if you aren't, let me recap... Three weeks ago (it's a once a week, 3 hour class) I started off with a 35 minute PowerPoint presentation, then about an hour of concept mapping. I was naive, I thought the students would really be into the concept mapping but it took a bit longer than I could plan for and I did more of the interaction than I thought I'd have to. It continues to boggle my mind that these kids don't know a lot about nursing, assessments or how to put it all together. (They are only sophomores, and this is their first semester of hands-on nursing.) Because of my lecture and mapping, we had limited lab time. As I re-capped the lecture with my preceptor, we decided the next week we would spend much more time in lab and we would get a bit more interactive with the students. That week, I devised a quiz-like assignment that put them all in the lab at the start of class and we used washable markers and they drew important landmarks on each other. I mulled over lecture and ultimately decided to omit it from the class, instead I created my PowerPoint and simply printed it out for them. It was comprehensive so they really just needed to review it. We spent about 2 and a half hours in the lab, discussing assessments and practicing. I had a good time and their feedback told me they felt that they had learned a lot. The third class was a decent close to my time at the front of the room. They had an exam, which was a majority of the material I had presented so I'm anxious to see what their grades were. I had only about an hour and a half to present an accurate picture of a neuro assessment. I did lecture for about 10 minutes, looking back, I should have surpassed it again for the extra time in lab. We then spent the remaining time completing a neuro exam, doing some role playing (to apply the knowledge in a hospital situation where much of these skills they are learning will be applied) and discussing any questions they had. I gave them an evaluation following each class period, to give me a picture of their learning in each class and a larger, more formal evaluation of my teaching following the last class. They were overwhelmingly good, a few tips for next time were appreciated. I think they enjoyed my teaching style, I had fun with the three hours each week. I was always enthusiastic and probably pretty entertaining (a couple even told me I was). Like I said, I'm anxious to see how their exams turned out, that is a pretty large piece of the evaluation for a teacher.
Now, I have two large projects to complete, each about 8-10 pages a piece. And I have some residual grading to do from my weeks of lecture. A few things I learned: a lot of prep time goes into a three hour lecture, the more talking I do the bigger my headache is at the end of class (I need to hydrate during I think), the longer you wait after posing a question the more likely a brave soul will step forward to answer your question, using "real life" examples holds their attention better, and asking their opinion helps.
That's been my life lately. It's all new and exciting to me. And! my preceptor whispered to me during the beginning of the exam that she thinks I should teach the class next year and she would "put in a good word for me"! I have some good ideas to improve class and a few modifications I would love to see happen so the students have much more time for putting it together and using their brains. Only about 6 months till I'm a graduate of MSU with my MSNeD. May 7th here I come!
I completed my three official teaching sessions. I had a really good time too! In case you are interested, and even if you aren't, let me recap... Three weeks ago (it's a once a week, 3 hour class) I started off with a 35 minute PowerPoint presentation, then about an hour of concept mapping. I was naive, I thought the students would really be into the concept mapping but it took a bit longer than I could plan for and I did more of the interaction than I thought I'd have to. It continues to boggle my mind that these kids don't know a lot about nursing, assessments or how to put it all together. (They are only sophomores, and this is their first semester of hands-on nursing.) Because of my lecture and mapping, we had limited lab time. As I re-capped the lecture with my preceptor, we decided the next week we would spend much more time in lab and we would get a bit more interactive with the students. That week, I devised a quiz-like assignment that put them all in the lab at the start of class and we used washable markers and they drew important landmarks on each other. I mulled over lecture and ultimately decided to omit it from the class, instead I created my PowerPoint and simply printed it out for them. It was comprehensive so they really just needed to review it. We spent about 2 and a half hours in the lab, discussing assessments and practicing. I had a good time and their feedback told me they felt that they had learned a lot. The third class was a decent close to my time at the front of the room. They had an exam, which was a majority of the material I had presented so I'm anxious to see what their grades were. I had only about an hour and a half to present an accurate picture of a neuro assessment. I did lecture for about 10 minutes, looking back, I should have surpassed it again for the extra time in lab. We then spent the remaining time completing a neuro exam, doing some role playing (to apply the knowledge in a hospital situation where much of these skills they are learning will be applied) and discussing any questions they had. I gave them an evaluation following each class period, to give me a picture of their learning in each class and a larger, more formal evaluation of my teaching following the last class. They were overwhelmingly good, a few tips for next time were appreciated. I think they enjoyed my teaching style, I had fun with the three hours each week. I was always enthusiastic and probably pretty entertaining (a couple even told me I was). Like I said, I'm anxious to see how their exams turned out, that is a pretty large piece of the evaluation for a teacher.
Now, I have two large projects to complete, each about 8-10 pages a piece. And I have some residual grading to do from my weeks of lecture. A few things I learned: a lot of prep time goes into a three hour lecture, the more talking I do the bigger my headache is at the end of class (I need to hydrate during I think), the longer you wait after posing a question the more likely a brave soul will step forward to answer your question, using "real life" examples holds their attention better, and asking their opinion helps.
That's been my life lately. It's all new and exciting to me. And! my preceptor whispered to me during the beginning of the exam that she thinks I should teach the class next year and she would "put in a good word for me"! I have some good ideas to improve class and a few modifications I would love to see happen so the students have much more time for putting it together and using their brains. Only about 6 months till I'm a graduate of MSU with my MSNeD. May 7th here I come!
Sunday, November 1, 2009
November begins...
October ends quietly, November begins with a beautiful day.
Joc and I made the trip to Cadillac for Halloween to see Mr. Lucas head out as a cowboy for the big night. It was a typical Halloween night in Cadillac, so cold that you have to bundle up enough so no one can tell who/what you are. Thus the reason my sisters, brother and I were generally ghosts or witches (the hat could be worn and made the whole outfit!). I think Lucas had fun, he doesn't quite grasp the concept yet, so I figure next year he'll be wild and crazy into it and after the candy. This year, we did a large block loop then back to mom's house where us adults poured out his candy and proceeded to eat it. He didn't even notice and hardly likes candy! A perfect evening.
Back home today, Joc finished raking the leaves in the backyard, 10 bags total I believe! I got some reading done for class, then cleaned the house top to bottom. My fingers are prunney and my back sour from bending over. Apparently I should order my swifter in tall as well as my mop so I can stand upright when using them! Oy, who doesn't think of us tall people?!
Just a month and a half until class is finished for the break. I made the leap, put in my parttime notice. 2 more weeks as a fulltime RN then who knows? I have stopped fretting about it so much, I am just letting whatever happens, happen. When I am in my Spring semester, I'll send out some resumes, do some interviews and play it by ear. I have a pretty wide open future sitting in front of me, many options and many skills to put to use. The stress from school and the stress from my indecisions were giving me breakouts! Enough already!
Also, sending out my thoughts and prayers to the Janik family who has endured the loss of their son and brother, Tom. I am sorry, Teresa, that you and your family are among us who know the loss of a brother. You were blessed with Tom for 33 years, take each precious memory you have, write it down, keep it special. Speak of him often, remember him always and know that he is in a good place, with God. I pray that time heals your heart and you remember him always.
Joc and I made the trip to Cadillac for Halloween to see Mr. Lucas head out as a cowboy for the big night. It was a typical Halloween night in Cadillac, so cold that you have to bundle up enough so no one can tell who/what you are. Thus the reason my sisters, brother and I were generally ghosts or witches (the hat could be worn and made the whole outfit!). I think Lucas had fun, he doesn't quite grasp the concept yet, so I figure next year he'll be wild and crazy into it and after the candy. This year, we did a large block loop then back to mom's house where us adults poured out his candy and proceeded to eat it. He didn't even notice and hardly likes candy! A perfect evening.
Back home today, Joc finished raking the leaves in the backyard, 10 bags total I believe! I got some reading done for class, then cleaned the house top to bottom. My fingers are prunney and my back sour from bending over. Apparently I should order my swifter in tall as well as my mop so I can stand upright when using them! Oy, who doesn't think of us tall people?!
Just a month and a half until class is finished for the break. I made the leap, put in my parttime notice. 2 more weeks as a fulltime RN then who knows? I have stopped fretting about it so much, I am just letting whatever happens, happen. When I am in my Spring semester, I'll send out some resumes, do some interviews and play it by ear. I have a pretty wide open future sitting in front of me, many options and many skills to put to use. The stress from school and the stress from my indecisions were giving me breakouts! Enough already!
Also, sending out my thoughts and prayers to the Janik family who has endured the loss of their son and brother, Tom. I am sorry, Teresa, that you and your family are among us who know the loss of a brother. You were blessed with Tom for 33 years, take each precious memory you have, write it down, keep it special. Speak of him often, remember him always and know that he is in a good place, with God. I pray that time heals your heart and you remember him always.
Sunday, October 11, 2009
Learn to let it bend before it breaks...
Man, it is cold these days! Joc has opened the fireplace and we've had nice, warm, toasty, popping fires nearly every evening this week. It reminds me again how grateful and happy I am to be working days now. We've even turned the heat on because the house is so chilled!
So, I've been considering going part time at work... school and student teaching has been overwhelming and busy for me and it's an option to drop down to two shifts a week. It is so tempting and I plan to talk to HR this week to see what my benefits, etc would be or not be. My boss told me the only difficulty would be getting me back to full time to which I replied, I'm not sure I'll ever need to go full time again. My graduation date is May 7, 2010 and I hope to teach once I graduate, I mean that's what I put all the work in for... right? So really, I'd be applying and sending resume's out this spring in hopes of a job for the next school year............ as freaky as it sounds to me, I could be in a classroom in a year! gulp. I could be "professor gable"... jeez, I'm going to have to work on a new title...
Meanwhile, in the present.... I am teaching my first lecture in two weeks... I desperately want to come up with something besides lecture and powerpoints to entertain the students... I'm thinking podcast or video or something.... any ideas??? I'm teaching assessment class, so it's pretty basic and non complicated....
Brandi Carlile's new CD came out last week, so I've been listenign to her on repeat since I bought it... it's another stellar disc... love her music! Check her out if you haven't before, www.brandicarlile.com or on iTunes, she has three full CDs out, I think my favorite will always be her first, self-titled CD just because I remember finding her and listening for hours on repeat and falling in love... it's so hard to let go of your first love, right? (c:
Off to bed, work tomorrow followed by homework!
So, I've been considering going part time at work... school and student teaching has been overwhelming and busy for me and it's an option to drop down to two shifts a week. It is so tempting and I plan to talk to HR this week to see what my benefits, etc would be or not be. My boss told me the only difficulty would be getting me back to full time to which I replied, I'm not sure I'll ever need to go full time again. My graduation date is May 7, 2010 and I hope to teach once I graduate, I mean that's what I put all the work in for... right? So really, I'd be applying and sending resume's out this spring in hopes of a job for the next school year............ as freaky as it sounds to me, I could be in a classroom in a year! gulp. I could be "professor gable"... jeez, I'm going to have to work on a new title...
Meanwhile, in the present.... I am teaching my first lecture in two weeks... I desperately want to come up with something besides lecture and powerpoints to entertain the students... I'm thinking podcast or video or something.... any ideas??? I'm teaching assessment class, so it's pretty basic and non complicated....
Brandi Carlile's new CD came out last week, so I've been listenign to her on repeat since I bought it... it's another stellar disc... love her music! Check her out if you haven't before, www.brandicarlile.com or on iTunes, she has three full CDs out, I think my favorite will always be her first, self-titled CD just because I remember finding her and listening for hours on repeat and falling in love... it's so hard to let go of your first love, right? (c:
Off to bed, work tomorrow followed by homework!
Thursday, October 1, 2009
Up early
Asked for and received a VO this morning. (VO stands for voluntary off, meaning I call and say, 'if there are enough nurses scheduled and you don't need me, i'll stay home') I have a mound of homework to get through, reading, write ups, postings, and then work for my class on Friday where the prof wants me to present and demonstrate the Snellen chart...what the heck is that? I need to refer to the book to review what exactly I'll be presenting to the class! Jeez. (c:
Is the age of the blog dead? My mom sent me an article a month or so ago about the blog craze dying down. People are running out of shit to blog about. I'll partially agree to this. I mean, what the hell is so interesting in my life that you guys want to read about it? Nothing, I'll answer that for you! As for others who blog so their families far, far away can keep up with life, can see pictures and videos they otherwise would be subjected to at holidays and visits in the future. I seem to remember watching a lot of silent videos from my youth, and enjoying them but I can't say everyone felt the same. I also recall watching other people's videos and thinking, "can i fit a nap in here without snoring/drooling or being noticed?" My blog is pointless, but I follow a couple other blogs that are pretty interesting and funny.... so I don't want their blogging to stop...but understand why the entries are less and less frequent. As for my friends who blog, I like seeing the happs in life, i.e. Rachael- I love your pictures and getting updates from NYC, Amers I enjoy watching Kaylen grow up on the blog, etc. I just feel like mine is pointless.
Well there was my pity party of one for the time being. Maybe if I were creative/motivated or had more time, I'd take 365 days and go through a cookbook, blog about it, become famous and have a book and movie done... can you imagine? Too bad the idea is taken already... bummer.
Until next time... happy blogging!
Is the age of the blog dead? My mom sent me an article a month or so ago about the blog craze dying down. People are running out of shit to blog about. I'll partially agree to this. I mean, what the hell is so interesting in my life that you guys want to read about it? Nothing, I'll answer that for you! As for others who blog so their families far, far away can keep up with life, can see pictures and videos they otherwise would be subjected to at holidays and visits in the future. I seem to remember watching a lot of silent videos from my youth, and enjoying them but I can't say everyone felt the same. I also recall watching other people's videos and thinking, "can i fit a nap in here without snoring/drooling or being noticed?" My blog is pointless, but I follow a couple other blogs that are pretty interesting and funny.... so I don't want their blogging to stop...but understand why the entries are less and less frequent. As for my friends who blog, I like seeing the happs in life, i.e. Rachael- I love your pictures and getting updates from NYC, Amers I enjoy watching Kaylen grow up on the blog, etc. I just feel like mine is pointless.
Well there was my pity party of one for the time being. Maybe if I were creative/motivated or had more time, I'd take 365 days and go through a cookbook, blog about it, become famous and have a book and movie done... can you imagine? Too bad the idea is taken already... bummer.
Until next time... happy blogging!
Friday, September 18, 2009
Good bye summer
Life is pretty crazy these days. I haven't been the greatest friend to my long distance friends, I owe 4 people a phone call. It's a little overwhelming really. My friend Rachel keeps calling me from Iraq to talk but I seem to miss all her calls and I feel badly because I can't just call her back, ya know?
Fridays are student teaching days, so when I'm scheduled to work it gets a bit hairy. I have a co-worker who has volunteered to cover my four hours I need to be in the classroom. So, I start my day, leave at 1230 to teach, then I rush back to work to finish my shift. It usually is crazy because of the charting I have to get done and coming back in for a quick end to the shift. The first half of the semester is gonna be crazy and I'm wondering how I'll approach the second half.
The student teaching is fun, so far I've only had the opportunity to attend one class but today is my second day. It's not like I'm doing the teaching, I usually observe and help with the lab portion. But I really enjoy teaching the kids, it's fun.
I'm also taking 5 credits this semester, which takes a little getting used to again. The last year and a half of school I've only had one class and it's different making time for two instead of one class.
Anyway, I need to get moving, get ready for class today and post something for class by tonight.
Excited for fall to arrive, it was a cooler morning today, I actually could see my breath when I was running.
Fridays are student teaching days, so when I'm scheduled to work it gets a bit hairy. I have a co-worker who has volunteered to cover my four hours I need to be in the classroom. So, I start my day, leave at 1230 to teach, then I rush back to work to finish my shift. It usually is crazy because of the charting I have to get done and coming back in for a quick end to the shift. The first half of the semester is gonna be crazy and I'm wondering how I'll approach the second half.
The student teaching is fun, so far I've only had the opportunity to attend one class but today is my second day. It's not like I'm doing the teaching, I usually observe and help with the lab portion. But I really enjoy teaching the kids, it's fun.
I'm also taking 5 credits this semester, which takes a little getting used to again. The last year and a half of school I've only had one class and it's different making time for two instead of one class.
Anyway, I need to get moving, get ready for class today and post something for class by tonight.
Excited for fall to arrive, it was a cooler morning today, I actually could see my breath when I was running.
Tuesday, September 1, 2009
Propofol and other crazy things
Can I tell you how much we use Propofol at work? Can I tell you that most, if not all, ICU RNs love this drug because of its ability to sedate a patient so quickly yet when turned off allows them to awaken in a short time span. The small but extremely important detail is that a patient should be intubated or being prepared for intubation or under direct and constant supervision of a medical team when using and infusing propofol. I used propofol at work on Sunday all weekend in fact. It's still wierd to me to see it in the news surrounding Michael Jackson and his death. You know what Michael was missing when his doctor gave him that injection? A nurse and a respiratory therapist, hello? One of the huge effects of propofol is respiratory depression, hello?! Any way, enough about Michael.
September 1st is upon us. Phew. I think I'm getting motion sickness from the speed of this year! It looks like the last time I posted was in the middle of July, I could swear that was yesterday or at least the day before...
School starts tomorrow, I'm student teaching this semester. Woohoo! With a prof from my undergrad days, we had our first class last Friday and it was a lot of fun. I really need to work on my language, don't worry, I didn't swear but "sucks" came out of my mouth at least 3 times (that I can remember). opps. Is that still bad form? gulp, this might be more challanging than I thought it was going to be... I'll keep you posted. I thought I was going to be rediculously nervous and have trouble getting my point accross but I really got into it and Sister Linda (with whom I'm learning from) was very laid back about it all. We meet weekly, Fridays from 1-4 and it's a health assessment class. These kids (and I do mean kids) are young! For my nursing friends who still read my blog (thanks), this is the first semester of them being together. I said to them, at some point in class, that they would be together for the next three years whether they like it or not. I wanted to say, by the end of your degree you'll love everyone you've gone through it with but want to vomit from needing a new environment. Graduation comes at almost the exact right point. Nursing school is tough, we'll see if I make that easier or harder! hee hee... it is quite different being at the front of the room, remembering what it was like to sit behind the desks. sigh....
Well, I turned down $35,000. I'll let you re-read that sentence and please note that yes, I meant $35,000 not 3500.
If you recall (which you don't have to) my July posting, I was awaiting a decision from the state. Well, I received it. It was a scholarship that my advisor at MSU asked if I had an interest in back in July and had the monies gone through and the contract been mailed to me, I would have signed that thing faster than you can sneeze. But then they delayed, and delayed again. And while they were delaying I got to thinking about what I wanted to do with myself post masters. These monies would require (contract remember) that I teach full time in a 4 year or 2 year university setting in MI for no less than 5 years. Now take a minute and realize why I would sign that contract immediately back in July. Because $35000 would take care of the loans I've taken out in the last two years plus cover most of the remaining loans from undergrad. It would have been awesome, still would be. But then reality slowly creeped into my mind, "do I really want to jump into full time teaching?" "what if I don't like it?" "am I done with bedside nursing full time?" "do I want to get my PhD already?" "I feel like I'm in my prime at the bedside, considered a profficient RN that people come to with their questions am I really ready to be done with this?" And the thoughts persisted. It was really difficult when the actual contract came in the mail on Friday and I saw that the $35000 was in a living stipend while there was some $17,000 for tuition that wasn't included in the $35000. Making the grand total much to high to even comprehend turning down! Man, even thinking about it now, again, makes me wonder if I did the right thing but I know, in my heart I did. Signing a 5 year contract too is not a short time, it sounds like a short time but then I think, I haven't been an RN for 5 years yet... So, I turned it down. And I feel good about my decision, I think. (c:
Reeds Lake Tri September 12th, come one, come all! I'm off to have a long bike, thanks for reading!
September 1st is upon us. Phew. I think I'm getting motion sickness from the speed of this year! It looks like the last time I posted was in the middle of July, I could swear that was yesterday or at least the day before...
School starts tomorrow, I'm student teaching this semester. Woohoo! With a prof from my undergrad days, we had our first class last Friday and it was a lot of fun. I really need to work on my language, don't worry, I didn't swear but "sucks" came out of my mouth at least 3 times (that I can remember). opps. Is that still bad form? gulp, this might be more challanging than I thought it was going to be... I'll keep you posted. I thought I was going to be rediculously nervous and have trouble getting my point accross but I really got into it and Sister Linda (with whom I'm learning from) was very laid back about it all. We meet weekly, Fridays from 1-4 and it's a health assessment class. These kids (and I do mean kids) are young! For my nursing friends who still read my blog (thanks), this is the first semester of them being together. I said to them, at some point in class, that they would be together for the next three years whether they like it or not. I wanted to say, by the end of your degree you'll love everyone you've gone through it with but want to vomit from needing a new environment. Graduation comes at almost the exact right point. Nursing school is tough, we'll see if I make that easier or harder! hee hee... it is quite different being at the front of the room, remembering what it was like to sit behind the desks. sigh....
Well, I turned down $35,000. I'll let you re-read that sentence and please note that yes, I meant $35,000 not 3500.
If you recall (which you don't have to) my July posting, I was awaiting a decision from the state. Well, I received it. It was a scholarship that my advisor at MSU asked if I had an interest in back in July and had the monies gone through and the contract been mailed to me, I would have signed that thing faster than you can sneeze. But then they delayed, and delayed again. And while they were delaying I got to thinking about what I wanted to do with myself post masters. These monies would require (contract remember) that I teach full time in a 4 year or 2 year university setting in MI for no less than 5 years. Now take a minute and realize why I would sign that contract immediately back in July. Because $35000 would take care of the loans I've taken out in the last two years plus cover most of the remaining loans from undergrad. It would have been awesome, still would be. But then reality slowly creeped into my mind, "do I really want to jump into full time teaching?" "what if I don't like it?" "am I done with bedside nursing full time?" "do I want to get my PhD already?" "I feel like I'm in my prime at the bedside, considered a profficient RN that people come to with their questions am I really ready to be done with this?" And the thoughts persisted. It was really difficult when the actual contract came in the mail on Friday and I saw that the $35000 was in a living stipend while there was some $17,000 for tuition that wasn't included in the $35000. Making the grand total much to high to even comprehend turning down! Man, even thinking about it now, again, makes me wonder if I did the right thing but I know, in my heart I did. Signing a 5 year contract too is not a short time, it sounds like a short time but then I think, I haven't been an RN for 5 years yet... So, I turned it down. And I feel good about my decision, I think. (c:
Reeds Lake Tri September 12th, come one, come all! I'm off to have a long bike, thanks for reading!
Friday, July 17, 2009
Thin
Feeling spread a bit thin lately, forgetting important things in life and allowing unimportant things to become forefront. It's supposed to be summer, right? I'm off school for another month (only) and yet I feel like I haven't accomplished anything this summer. Sigh! Life is tough (c:
Weather is cool around here, and when I say "cool" I mean 70s with minimal humidity. It's actually quite nice to sit around and not sweat while breathing but it'd also be great to have a little of that so the winter feels good when it arrives too soon. I'm not complaining, don't get me wrong, it just feels like spring still and maybe that's why I'm feeling laze faire about things.
I've been offered a pretty sweet opportunity from MSU and the state, a significant amount of money to finish school and teach in the state of MI. I've applied, now the state is "working on it" and I should hear by August 5th, but don't hold your breath because I was supposed to hear the first time by June 28th, then it turned into July 14th and now August 5th... I haven't said it to many people, for fear it won't come through and I'll be footing the bill for my last two semesters of grad school, but it feels more real and it sounds like as soon as the state figures their stuff out, I'll have a check in my mailbox burning a hole in my pocket. As nice as this money is, it also brings a tough decision for me, one I thought I was completely ready to make but now am not so sure. I suppose, as always, life will work itself out for me and Joc and what I'm "supposed" to do will fall right into my lap (okay, maybe I'll have to work just a little for it, but you get what I mean). I'm attempting to not focus on it too much, until I get the official word and know for a certainty the money is in the checking account and the bills are paid. But that's hard too. I'm not complaining, just talking it out. I might be a little vague here, but I don't want to divulge too much too early so there is a reason for my aloofness.
First triathlon of the season is tomorrow! Tri del sol kicks off with the first heat of swimmers at 8 a.m.(that'll be jennifer and I!!) My nerves are definitely setting in (which is good, the adrenaline helps), I'm pretty excited. So, no big workouts today, maybe a light bike this evening or an easy swim... then a 1/2 mile swim, 18 mile bike and 4.5 mile run on Saturday morning!!! Think of Jennifer and I tomorrow or come out to spectate in Middleville at Camp Manitou (YMCA) we'd love to hear the cheers!!
Thursday, July 2, 2009
Girls just want to have fun
Happy 4th of July. Tonight (the 2nd of July), I'm sitting in the peaceful (except for my damn neighbors shooting off M80s) evening air, listening to some newly downloaded tunes and thinking about life. This year is already half way over, do you guys realize that? How can it all go so fast?
I was at my grandparent's house the last couple days and I see how they have aged, gracefully and beautifully, but definitely aged. I hear them refer to their own deaths and it hit me that that can't be that far off. They are both in their upper 80s (respectfully) and no one lives forever.
Some pedestrian died this morning crossing the street, a 40 year old woman self-medicated with Tylenol for pain and killed her liver which killed her, a 50 year old man road his bike to the ER with crushing chest pain and proceeded to die... I'm sure the list could go on. Constant reminders of life's preciousness and the thought that not one of us knows that we will live to see tomorrow. Some idiot is bound to blow his/her hand off this holiday weekend setting off fireworks (at this moment, I'm secretly hoping it's my neighbor and his M80s!!), or be in a boating accident. People will say it was "unexpected" and tragic.
I didn't start this entry to write about death, I've just been lead this way. I hate being asked to plan for the next 5 years. What if somethign happens that requires I change the plans before then? What then? Man, as much as I like to know what's coming I still prefer to be in the dark just a bit ya know?
I saw My Sister's Keeper last week, read the book awhile ago and now finished it off with the movie. A tearjerker, no question about that, but a changed ending from the book which sort of made the book so tragic and sweet and unexpectedly touching. One sister, who couldn't survive without her sister, the other who has the role of keeping her sister alive... tragic. (if you read the book, you'd understand that last fragmented thought)
Signing off now, I'm just a bit jumbled tonight. Dreaming of heaven and what's next in life.
Happy 4th of July! Enjoy your summers.
I was at my grandparent's house the last couple days and I see how they have aged, gracefully and beautifully, but definitely aged. I hear them refer to their own deaths and it hit me that that can't be that far off. They are both in their upper 80s (respectfully) and no one lives forever.
Some pedestrian died this morning crossing the street, a 40 year old woman self-medicated with Tylenol for pain and killed her liver which killed her, a 50 year old man road his bike to the ER with crushing chest pain and proceeded to die... I'm sure the list could go on. Constant reminders of life's preciousness and the thought that not one of us knows that we will live to see tomorrow. Some idiot is bound to blow his/her hand off this holiday weekend setting off fireworks (at this moment, I'm secretly hoping it's my neighbor and his M80s!!), or be in a boating accident. People will say it was "unexpected" and tragic.
I didn't start this entry to write about death, I've just been lead this way. I hate being asked to plan for the next 5 years. What if somethign happens that requires I change the plans before then? What then? Man, as much as I like to know what's coming I still prefer to be in the dark just a bit ya know?
I saw My Sister's Keeper last week, read the book awhile ago and now finished it off with the movie. A tearjerker, no question about that, but a changed ending from the book which sort of made the book so tragic and sweet and unexpectedly touching. One sister, who couldn't survive without her sister, the other who has the role of keeping her sister alive... tragic. (if you read the book, you'd understand that last fragmented thought)
Signing off now, I'm just a bit jumbled tonight. Dreaming of heaven and what's next in life.
Happy 4th of July! Enjoy your summers.
Sunday, June 7, 2009
A day in the life
It's finally here, my last night shift! I have been waiting for this for months, literally. I left Saint Mary's one year ago this month, headed west for a new adventure and I returned a little bit different than I left.
It's a little bit of a sweet surrender to days, I have had a really good time on nights. My co-workers are a lot of fun to be around, we laugh a lot, are unprofessional at times and have a good cohesiveness. To leave them is the harder part. The actual night shift, the difficulty staying awake when every morsel of your brain is telling you to sleep, the feeling of never being rested until the night before you go back to work, the difficulty sleeping through a beautiful day are gone. I don't know if it's set in yet, my first shift is Monday, I have five days off to prepare. It shouldn't take much.
I am ready, so very ready.
It's a little bit of a sweet surrender to days, I have had a really good time on nights. My co-workers are a lot of fun to be around, we laugh a lot, are unprofessional at times and have a good cohesiveness. To leave them is the harder part. The actual night shift, the difficulty staying awake when every morsel of your brain is telling you to sleep, the feeling of never being rested until the night before you go back to work, the difficulty sleeping through a beautiful day are gone. I don't know if it's set in yet, my first shift is Monday, I have five days off to prepare. It shouldn't take much.
I am ready, so very ready.
Sunday, May 17, 2009
NOLA Pics
Joc and her crawfish experience... it was a large plate, a lot of work and a little fish in return...
Bourbon street, Friday night... I wish this had volume because people are yelling, clubs have stereos on, jazz bands are playing in other bars, bouncers are trying to get people into bars, crazy, just crazy
Having a beer at the only NOLA brewery... I found a coupon for one free entree, yeah to saving $24!!
Laffette's (spelling is wrong) bar, was an old blacksmith shop where a couple pirates lived and worked, it was also part of the haunting tour... somebody's ghost lives here...oooohhhh!
There are a lot of famous people who live in NOLA, Nicholas Cage has a couple houses, of course everyone knows Brad and Angelina have a house, John Goodman has one, the Manning family lives there, and this house, it may be familiar if you saw "Benjamin Button" it was the house he grew up in... This is in the Garden District- most of the houses look like this, big, old, beautiful, historical, awesome. Many movies are shot in New Orleans, many are shooting now... a couple houses along our tour were pointed out as movie sites...
Just a street in the garden district, pretty very pretty there
One of the many above ground cemetery... it's a cool process for burying the dead I can explain it to you sometime... it's like recycling the dead
Cafe de Monde is pretty infamous, powder sugar donuts and coffee, it was good, if you can see the powder sugar on the ground next to me... they are coated in the sugar just coated. They were tasty!
Just a street in NOLA, it was quite beautiful there
In front of Cafe de Monde- our first full day in New Orleans
Patty O'Brien's is famous for their hurricanes, we made it in, had a couple drinks and stumbled out... they pack a punch! (c:
A picture on our walking tour of the French Quarter- I was the tour guide, very informative! (c:
Cafe du Monde (we only went once...these pics are all from that trip)
This is a haunted mansion in the French Quarter- a lady was tourturing and killing slaves... it's a freaky story...
The muffelatta- a big round sandwich, meat, cheese, olive salad, drenched in olive oil... an experience, very filling and if you don't like olives it might not be a favorite... New Orleans tradition.
NOLA
Let me translate that, since it took Joc and I a few days (and Joc even longer as I had to explain it to her straight up). NOLA= New Orleans, LA (get it? NOLA...) Creative, we thought!
Joc has bid me farewell and I am now comfortably settled in my conference hotel room and taking a day off, #1 because I have to prepare what sessions I'm attending for tomorrow's conference, #2 because it's raining pretty steady eddy and my raincoat sucks and #3 because the edema in my feet has finally decreased and I no longer look like a 9 month pregnant woman with cankles! I'm revelling in my "skinny" ankles again. Which brings me to my thoughts on the south... when they ask, where ya'll from? and you say, Michigan one of the first questions they ask is, "so you think it's hot, huh?" like we live in the artic... like we never get above a cold rain or light snow? I'll give them one thing, it is hot and muggy here and from what locals have said, it gets worse in the next couple months. I'm glad I won't be here for that experience, I really wouldn't want to see my cankles at that point! (c:
NOLA has been fun, we saw much of the city, did three tours of the place, learned quite a bit about the history (and it has a rich history!), road the streetcars (not trolley's) and walked a lot. We found a couple bars, not on Bourbon st, that we really enjoyed and shopped a bit. We ate local cuisine, Joc finally had crawfish last night which is a big local eatery... think larger than shrimp but smaller than lobster... couldn't tell you what they taste like I didn't have the guts to try them. We even had muffelattas (which are huge sandwiches with an olice salad topping... not big olive fans but they weren't too bad actually). We walked down Bourbon St, experienced it on a Friday night and then promptly left... funny how when you do that much walking and sightseeing getting drunk and being obnoxious just aren't a priority. Sort of like Ireland, you want to stay out and get pissed with the locals, but you've done and seen so much that your bed sounds much more appealing. That was us on Bourbon st, we decided if we had come down with the full intention of getting drunk and staying out all night then Bourbon street would have been more appealing. Loud and crazy are two words I would use.
I'm going to post pictures from our trip, I'll do it in a seperate posting, just so I can be more controlled on the captions and organization. Hope you enjoy the pics and my quick write up, now I'm here for learnin' from Monday-Thursday when I head north, back to the "cold" as these southerners think!
Funny note: I was wandering in the huge conference center trying to find the registration for my conference and I found a huge sign that said, "REGISTRATION" so I go in line but was confused when it said something about a gold card... I asked the chick behind me who was like, "honey you need to ask someone... it's a vendor card, you get it from the state" I was like, I must be in the wrong place..sure enough, that was a jewelery convention! OMG was I in the wrong place! HA! I heard her whisper to her friend as I was leaving that I must be lost and she hopes I can find my place... interesting, very interesting...
Joc has bid me farewell and I am now comfortably settled in my conference hotel room and taking a day off, #1 because I have to prepare what sessions I'm attending for tomorrow's conference, #2 because it's raining pretty steady eddy and my raincoat sucks and #3 because the edema in my feet has finally decreased and I no longer look like a 9 month pregnant woman with cankles! I'm revelling in my "skinny" ankles again. Which brings me to my thoughts on the south... when they ask, where ya'll from? and you say, Michigan one of the first questions they ask is, "so you think it's hot, huh?" like we live in the artic... like we never get above a cold rain or light snow? I'll give them one thing, it is hot and muggy here and from what locals have said, it gets worse in the next couple months. I'm glad I won't be here for that experience, I really wouldn't want to see my cankles at that point! (c:
NOLA has been fun, we saw much of the city, did three tours of the place, learned quite a bit about the history (and it has a rich history!), road the streetcars (not trolley's) and walked a lot. We found a couple bars, not on Bourbon st, that we really enjoyed and shopped a bit. We ate local cuisine, Joc finally had crawfish last night which is a big local eatery... think larger than shrimp but smaller than lobster... couldn't tell you what they taste like I didn't have the guts to try them. We even had muffelattas (which are huge sandwiches with an olice salad topping... not big olive fans but they weren't too bad actually). We walked down Bourbon St, experienced it on a Friday night and then promptly left... funny how when you do that much walking and sightseeing getting drunk and being obnoxious just aren't a priority. Sort of like Ireland, you want to stay out and get pissed with the locals, but you've done and seen so much that your bed sounds much more appealing. That was us on Bourbon st, we decided if we had come down with the full intention of getting drunk and staying out all night then Bourbon street would have been more appealing. Loud and crazy are two words I would use.
I'm going to post pictures from our trip, I'll do it in a seperate posting, just so I can be more controlled on the captions and organization. Hope you enjoy the pics and my quick write up, now I'm here for learnin' from Monday-Thursday when I head north, back to the "cold" as these southerners think!
Funny note: I was wandering in the huge conference center trying to find the registration for my conference and I found a huge sign that said, "REGISTRATION" so I go in line but was confused when it said something about a gold card... I asked the chick behind me who was like, "honey you need to ask someone... it's a vendor card, you get it from the state" I was like, I must be in the wrong place..sure enough, that was a jewelery convention! OMG was I in the wrong place! HA! I heard her whisper to her friend as I was leaving that I must be lost and she hopes I can find my place... interesting, very interesting...
Tuesday, May 12, 2009
Gotta pee!
I don't know why I never thought of this before, but I can totally blog at work! OMG, I cannot believe I havent' done this before. (c:
Working my last night of a four night stretch, I have been really tired the last three and tonight I'm feeling pretty good and it's already 1130 so I'm almost half way done. It's been pretty busy, I've been the IV queen tonight, already started 3 on a couple different floors. I really enjoy starting IVs, the calls to start them are a bit annoying because the nurses always start by saying, "are you busy?" in this really cutsy voice and I just know that that is why they are calling. I told one nurse to not sugarcoat it, just ask me straight up and I'll tell you if I want to or not, or if I can or not! My biggest complaint isn't that I don't have the time or desire, remember I like IV starts and if I'm busy and it's not an emergency I tell them I don't have the time. But my biggest complaint is that often, I find at least one bulging vessel or a couple different options.... which tells me that they either didn't take the time to sit down and actually look for all the possible options or they never turned on the lights or they told me they did try and actually didn't. That's my biggest complaint. I'm no expert, hell I've only been a nurse for 4 years... I just take the time to sit down and look.
AND!!!! 2 day shifts are posted and one of them better be mine! I emailed my boss, and I'm almost 100% certain I have one of them, starting the third week of June, almost there, almost there. I think I can, I think I can...
Leaving for New Orleans tomorrow, for a week and a half. I'm pretty excited to get out of MI for a bit, it's been since Colorado that I've been out of here and it'll feel good to board that plane tomorrow. Joc is coming for the first four days, we'll do the tourist thing then I have a nursing conference to attend. That's the real reason I'm headed South, it is Monday through Thursday and I'll be home in time for Memorial Day and my friend Kelly's trip back to MI. (She went to nursing school with me and worked at Saints until she left to travel last September) We are all going out Friday night to see her, looking forward to it really.
I really do have to pee, I didn't just title the entry that way, I seriously do but there's an environmental services guy cleaning and he wears WAY too much cologne and it is making me nauseous so I'm thinking I'm going to be walking down the hall to another facility.
Lovely, well I'll post some pics when we get back or maybe while I'm there... I'm not going with anyone to the conference so I'll have some nights that I'm not too busy.
Thanks for reading,
Jenn
Working my last night of a four night stretch, I have been really tired the last three and tonight I'm feeling pretty good and it's already 1130 so I'm almost half way done. It's been pretty busy, I've been the IV queen tonight, already started 3 on a couple different floors. I really enjoy starting IVs, the calls to start them are a bit annoying because the nurses always start by saying, "are you busy?" in this really cutsy voice and I just know that that is why they are calling. I told one nurse to not sugarcoat it, just ask me straight up and I'll tell you if I want to or not, or if I can or not! My biggest complaint isn't that I don't have the time or desire, remember I like IV starts and if I'm busy and it's not an emergency I tell them I don't have the time. But my biggest complaint is that often, I find at least one bulging vessel or a couple different options.... which tells me that they either didn't take the time to sit down and actually look for all the possible options or they never turned on the lights or they told me they did try and actually didn't. That's my biggest complaint. I'm no expert, hell I've only been a nurse for 4 years... I just take the time to sit down and look.
AND!!!! 2 day shifts are posted and one of them better be mine! I emailed my boss, and I'm almost 100% certain I have one of them, starting the third week of June, almost there, almost there. I think I can, I think I can...
Leaving for New Orleans tomorrow, for a week and a half. I'm pretty excited to get out of MI for a bit, it's been since Colorado that I've been out of here and it'll feel good to board that plane tomorrow. Joc is coming for the first four days, we'll do the tourist thing then I have a nursing conference to attend. That's the real reason I'm headed South, it is Monday through Thursday and I'll be home in time for Memorial Day and my friend Kelly's trip back to MI. (She went to nursing school with me and worked at Saints until she left to travel last September) We are all going out Friday night to see her, looking forward to it really.
I really do have to pee, I didn't just title the entry that way, I seriously do but there's an environmental services guy cleaning and he wears WAY too much cologne and it is making me nauseous so I'm thinking I'm going to be walking down the hall to another facility.
Lovely, well I'll post some pics when we get back or maybe while I'm there... I'm not going with anyone to the conference so I'll have some nights that I'm not too busy.
Thanks for reading,
Jenn
Monday, May 11, 2009
Monday
It's quite amazing the difference at the hospital from weekend to weekday. There's a quiet on the weekends that seaps away around 6am Monday morning, not to be felt again until Friday night around 7pm. The buzz that ignites with the doctors rounding, the med students looking at charts, day shift arriving and night shift holding onto the last hour of their quiet night. I prefer the buzz, I look forward to that energy to revive me for that last hour of wakefulness that some nights I just don't possess.
So starts another week at the hospital, but this place is not a Monday through Friday gig, we don't hold the hours of 8-5. Most days I'm glad for the break a three day work week provides, other times I wish for shorted shifts. Some shifts, 12 hours feels like one hour and other 12 hour shifts feel like 24 hours, just depends on the patients. Tonight was a mixed bag.
I'll leave you with those thoughts.
So starts another week at the hospital, but this place is not a Monday through Friday gig, we don't hold the hours of 8-5. Most days I'm glad for the break a three day work week provides, other times I wish for shorted shifts. Some shifts, 12 hours feels like one hour and other 12 hour shifts feel like 24 hours, just depends on the patients. Tonight was a mixed bag.
I'll leave you with those thoughts.
Thursday, May 7, 2009
Life update
What's the point of blogging anymore with Facebook? I feel like my life is no longer as exciting as when I was doing the travel thing so to blog about it is uninteresting. That's why I don't blog much anymore, there's not much to blog about!
This is a picture of me and a couple friends, Jody and Nicole, at Tulip Festival in Holland, MI. We decided to venture out and see what it's all about since none of us had even attended. Let me say that I believe that it's a big deal to people who have been involved with it since they were kids and are now passing on the tradition to their kids. It wasn't too exciting to us four, liberal, non-Dutch gay Catholics! (c: There was a dancing thing in the street and these girls (all girls) were dressed up in Dutch outfits and doing a Dutch dance but that was about it. We spent the majority of our time grabbing a bite to eat and a cider at New Holland Brewery, now that was worth it! Ha!
Any way, I'm about to take my final exam for my class. I'm off for the summer so I'm looking forward to that, just being free of required readings and postings and writing for a couple months. I start clinicals in August, I will be student teaching in a Nursing program! This I am looking forward to. And I will be teaching at my alma mater, Aquinas/UDM with a professor I had back in the day (4.5 years ago) Sister Linda. I'm a bit excited to get into a classroom and see what it's all about from the front of the class, I definitely know what it's like to sit behind a desk and sleep through lectures (c:
In other news, Joc and I have pretty much completed a landscaping project that was pretty HUGE by our standards. Last weekend we had 6 yards of river rock delivered (yes 6 yards and if you don't know how much that is, it's A LOT), see in the backyard we had a "flower bed, scrubbery area" that Joc cut out all the trees and dug up all the day lillies a year or so ago. She spread mulch and planted five of those decorative grass thingys but the rains washed away much of the mulch and it was constantly muddy and looking bad so she decided that river rock would look nice there. So we carried all 6 yards of river rock back there, spread it out and it looks great. That wasn't the end of the project, we also made a ring around a tree in the back, put rocks around that and the biggest thing we did was lay sod in the back. 3 yards of top soil, spread out over the clay we had for dirt, topped off by 3 pallets of sod now cover our yard. It looks fabulous, if I do say so myself. I'm watering like a mad man or woman, it took me about 3 hours yesterday to water the whole yard and it rained last night, so I can do it all again in the evening. Have to keep it pretty wet in the first week or so, to allow germination or whatever it is. Here's hoping it takes!!! We took before and after pictures so I'll upload them and post them soon, so you can get an idea of the magnitude of work it was. My body was so soar the day after, it's getting better though.
I started off saying there was nothing to blog about and here I am rambling. Off to take my exam, wish me luck!!
Wednesday, April 8, 2009
Obsessed
Joc calls it obsessed, I like to think of it as a strong affinity... to Twilight. I know what many of you might be thinking (or none of you...whatever!), Twilight, how pathetic... yadda yadda yadda... but I enjoyed reading all four books and I've embraced the first movie even if it's not the best adaptation of the book but whatever. I gave in and bought the movie and yes, I've watched it more than a handful of times in the last week, like I said, obsession/affinity for... debateable really (c: Anyway, I believe I keep watching the movie because I lent the books to a co-worker and I really want to re-read them but can't. So instead, I watch the movie over and over because it's all I have right now.
Well, in my obsession I discovered a new musical talent and it happens to be "Edward", Rob Pattinson. There are two of his songs in the movie and because the director kept talking about how great a musician he is, I googled his music and found about 6 songs that he performed in various bars in London (he's a Brit). He hasn't done any recording (other than the two songs in Twilight), isn't planning on recordign more, isn't performing at the moment and my disappointment lies in the fact that he probably won't ever be able to perform in public again like he did before Twilight because of his huge popularity. Which means I might never get to buy an album of his or get to fully appreciate his sound in public. I've bookmarked this website and have truley been moved by his music. He has an amazing voice and lyrics that speak to you, I have a weakness for talented musicians that aren't exactly "mainstream". So, I'll post the link and you can check it out if you like.
I'm thinking my obsession will subside in a week or two, but once I get my books back I plan to read them again and then I'll feel better. Then I can find a new obsession (c:
Crazy, I know believe me, I know.
http://www.robert-pattinson.co.uk/music/
Well, in my obsession I discovered a new musical talent and it happens to be "Edward", Rob Pattinson. There are two of his songs in the movie and because the director kept talking about how great a musician he is, I googled his music and found about 6 songs that he performed in various bars in London (he's a Brit). He hasn't done any recording (other than the two songs in Twilight), isn't planning on recordign more, isn't performing at the moment and my disappointment lies in the fact that he probably won't ever be able to perform in public again like he did before Twilight because of his huge popularity. Which means I might never get to buy an album of his or get to fully appreciate his sound in public. I've bookmarked this website and have truley been moved by his music. He has an amazing voice and lyrics that speak to you, I have a weakness for talented musicians that aren't exactly "mainstream". So, I'll post the link and you can check it out if you like.
I'm thinking my obsession will subside in a week or two, but once I get my books back I plan to read them again and then I'll feel better. Then I can find a new obsession (c:
Crazy, I know believe me, I know.
http://www.robert-pattinson.co.uk/music/
Sunday, March 29, 2009
Deep thoughts
It's Sunday night, I have no real reason to post anything but feel it's been awhile since my last posting. I find it ironic that it is cold, wet and snowy tonight as it was when I last posted... funny how life works, but there have been sunny days between these snowy ones and time seems to have passed as it always does.
I thought I'd have a sentimental, somewhat sad, thoughtful post today, for no reason other than it's how I feel right now. When I was in high school I used to write a lot, and when I say a lot, I mean it. I have journals that I filled with my teenage angst, frustrations, depression, anger, fear, and sadness. There was a lot of sadness back then, life wasn't exactly easy but I still found little joys threaded into my existence. It's a little crazy to me now, to look back and read some of my journal entries. I was in a dark place for many of them, a place I haven't been for a very long time, which I'm grateful for but there are odd times throughout my days that I miss the darkness. There was a familiarity about it, a warm inside it that became a safe place. It's hard to explain, and I'm not saying I'd go back but there are times that I think, "I used to be complicated, I'm not complicated anymore". It was exhausting then, as life is not anymore. Life is easier, less heavy. Remember, I told you this was going to be a thoughtful posting, stick with me or bail now... whatever you choose, I'm okay with it. (c:
I had the opportunity to revisit a CD that I used to be drawn to and in finding this CD I encountered others from my past. CDs that defined my emotional well being at the time that I listened to them, CDs I haven't listened to in years, they've grown dusty and forgotten. As I listened to this CD, Little Earthquakes by Tori Amos, I was taken back. I remembered knowing every single lyric back then and now, struggled to remember the chorus to some of the songs. Forgotten pathways from youth, cobwebs strewn about, re-tracing the words.
Life is funny that way, it carries on. If there's one thing you learn from death is that life is continuous. No matter who it is, or how monumental the loss, life just keeps on. Some days that is the hardest part of loss.
The beginning of every year is difficult for me, this year marks the 15th year my brother has been dead, and the 13th year my dad has been gone. My brother, Brian, was 15 when he died. It wasn't until the anniversary that I realized this, that he has been dead the exact amount of years he lived. What does this mean, really? To me, it's frightening, I've already "outlived" him but now, life has evolved to a point that for every year that passes means he's been dead longer than he lived. This is extremely sad to me, and difficult to process. I think about it often, I try to remember him better this year than the last 14, but as I said before, life goes on.
A patient died recently that maybe shouldn't have died, this is always difficult for me. There were many factors contributing to her death but my interactions could have affected the outcome. It's hard not to relive every minute leading up to her demise but I have, repeatedly. I've begun to let it go, I'm working through it, dealing with it and moving on, hoping that the next patient I encounter with the same signs and symptoms I can take that experience and learn from it. I suppose I just wish it had not been at the cost of her life. Again, life moves on.
So I'll end this posting, let it soak in and let time pass and see what's up for my life next.
Until next time...
I thought I'd have a sentimental, somewhat sad, thoughtful post today, for no reason other than it's how I feel right now. When I was in high school I used to write a lot, and when I say a lot, I mean it. I have journals that I filled with my teenage angst, frustrations, depression, anger, fear, and sadness. There was a lot of sadness back then, life wasn't exactly easy but I still found little joys threaded into my existence. It's a little crazy to me now, to look back and read some of my journal entries. I was in a dark place for many of them, a place I haven't been for a very long time, which I'm grateful for but there are odd times throughout my days that I miss the darkness. There was a familiarity about it, a warm inside it that became a safe place. It's hard to explain, and I'm not saying I'd go back but there are times that I think, "I used to be complicated, I'm not complicated anymore". It was exhausting then, as life is not anymore. Life is easier, less heavy. Remember, I told you this was going to be a thoughtful posting, stick with me or bail now... whatever you choose, I'm okay with it. (c:
I had the opportunity to revisit a CD that I used to be drawn to and in finding this CD I encountered others from my past. CDs that defined my emotional well being at the time that I listened to them, CDs I haven't listened to in years, they've grown dusty and forgotten. As I listened to this CD, Little Earthquakes by Tori Amos, I was taken back. I remembered knowing every single lyric back then and now, struggled to remember the chorus to some of the songs. Forgotten pathways from youth, cobwebs strewn about, re-tracing the words.
Life is funny that way, it carries on. If there's one thing you learn from death is that life is continuous. No matter who it is, or how monumental the loss, life just keeps on. Some days that is the hardest part of loss.
The beginning of every year is difficult for me, this year marks the 15th year my brother has been dead, and the 13th year my dad has been gone. My brother, Brian, was 15 when he died. It wasn't until the anniversary that I realized this, that he has been dead the exact amount of years he lived. What does this mean, really? To me, it's frightening, I've already "outlived" him but now, life has evolved to a point that for every year that passes means he's been dead longer than he lived. This is extremely sad to me, and difficult to process. I think about it often, I try to remember him better this year than the last 14, but as I said before, life goes on.
A patient died recently that maybe shouldn't have died, this is always difficult for me. There were many factors contributing to her death but my interactions could have affected the outcome. It's hard not to relive every minute leading up to her demise but I have, repeatedly. I've begun to let it go, I'm working through it, dealing with it and moving on, hoping that the next patient I encounter with the same signs and symptoms I can take that experience and learn from it. I suppose I just wish it had not been at the cost of her life. Again, life moves on.
So I'll end this posting, let it soak in and let time pass and see what's up for my life next.
Until next time...
Wednesday, March 11, 2009
Is it really snowing???!!!
Seriously, now?! It's just too damn depressing is what I say! I'm sick of cold, wet and windy winter! It's time to be done and it's time to be warm and sunny again, just for a little while.
I walked out of work the other morning and it was raining and cold, I groaned appropriately and a co-worker said, "at least it's not snow!" and I said, "I'm just ready to gripe about how hot it is..." Cuz I will, summer will come and it'll be hot and sunny and I'll have sweat dripping down my back and under my boobs and I'll be complaining and wishing it was just a few degrees cooler. I mean, seriously, I'm never content I know this. Sigh. Life is hard (c:
Nothing going on around these parts, except the weather, new unit is going ok. Lots of growing pains, kinks to work through and lessons to learn.
So long for now!
I walked out of work the other morning and it was raining and cold, I groaned appropriately and a co-worker said, "at least it's not snow!" and I said, "I'm just ready to gripe about how hot it is..." Cuz I will, summer will come and it'll be hot and sunny and I'll have sweat dripping down my back and under my boobs and I'll be complaining and wishing it was just a few degrees cooler. I mean, seriously, I'm never content I know this. Sigh. Life is hard (c:
Nothing going on around these parts, except the weather, new unit is going ok. Lots of growing pains, kinks to work through and lessons to learn.
So long for now!
Thursday, February 26, 2009
Mass exodus
The move is complete, we occupy a new unit and last night I walked through the old unit and it was eerie. As I talked to a fellow employee they compared what remains as a "mass exodus", nurse assignments remain on the marker boards, there are drink cups left behind, drawers are opened (from cleaning out) and it truly did appear that there was a disaster, that everyone and everything that could be grabbed and taken were and everyone ran. The silence is awkward and I looked in every room just making sure no one got left behind. Eerie.
On another dark note, today is the one year anniversary of the death of a co-worker, most of you who still read my blog did not know her. It was one of the hardest shifts of my career, probably will always be one of the hardest. I don't write this for pity or condolences, I did not know her as well as I would have liked, but to arrive at her bedside when her heart stopped and to have the realization that she was not going to survive was a very hard place to be. I have seen many deaths, participated in many codes in my short career, but this code will always occupy my mind and heart. It took me a long time to get passed the day, and I look back today with remembrance of the shift. I remember her today...
On another dark note, today is the one year anniversary of the death of a co-worker, most of you who still read my blog did not know her. It was one of the hardest shifts of my career, probably will always be one of the hardest. I don't write this for pity or condolences, I did not know her as well as I would have liked, but to arrive at her bedside when her heart stopped and to have the realization that she was not going to survive was a very hard place to be. I have seen many deaths, participated in many codes in my short career, but this code will always occupy my mind and heart. It took me a long time to get passed the day, and I look back today with remembrance of the shift. I remember her today...
Friday, January 30, 2009
New Fridge Day!
We get our new refrigerator today! I'm very excited, let me tell you. Last night I cleaned all the magnets off the old one and it looks so empty and clean! I keep wanting to put the magnets back on because it looks lonely, sniff sniff. I can't wait for the new one, although I am a bit concerned that it won't fit through our doors.... I measured the back door and it's 27 1/2'' wide, the new fridge is 31'' wide. Hmmmmmm.... guess that's why I'm paying someone else to deliver it and haul away this piece. I figure they can always take off the fridge doors to buy a couple inches, right? Here's hoping.
Not much else happening these days, Joc bought a new car (I should say we since I'll be paying the bill too but she drives it.) A Ford Escape (say it like Dory does in Finding Nemo, it's funner) and traded in her lemon of a car. It's nice and fun to tool around in. The color is copper technically but I think of some pukey red when I hear copper so we call it burnt orange, that better qualifies it. I'm a little jealous of the new car thing but my car is perfectly fine so I won't be trading it in any time soon. Bummer.
You know, I wrote a bit ago about being excited for my new class and now that I'm in week 3, yeah, not so excited anymore! Jeez. The honeymoon phase is over, now I have to do some serious reading. Wish me luck, off I go.
Not much else happening these days, Joc bought a new car (I should say we since I'll be paying the bill too but she drives it.) A Ford Escape (say it like Dory does in Finding Nemo, it's funner) and traded in her lemon of a car. It's nice and fun to tool around in. The color is copper technically but I think of some pukey red when I hear copper so we call it burnt orange, that better qualifies it. I'm a little jealous of the new car thing but my car is perfectly fine so I won't be trading it in any time soon. Bummer.
You know, I wrote a bit ago about being excited for my new class and now that I'm in week 3, yeah, not so excited anymore! Jeez. The honeymoon phase is over, now I have to do some serious reading. Wish me luck, off I go.
Tuesday, January 20, 2009
Christmas 08... or MLK jr day...
Well, the Gable girls (plus David) finally managed to find a weekend to get together to celebrate our Christmas exchange. It was also conveniently, MLK jr. weekend... so that worked for our celebration too. Nothing overly celebratory but it was nice to be all together again.
We did go check out a group of women singers called Earthworks women and it was actually pleasantly surprising. I enjoyed it very much, some exceptional singers, who needs American Idol?
I attached some pics that I snapped, hope you enjoy! You can also check me out on Facebook for other pics (i'm relatively new on there so look me up!)
Stay warm out there!
Happy Inauguration Day!!
Monday, January 12, 2009
New Class!
I'm a nerd, I know this and that's why it is okay. I admit to enjoying school, sure I roll my eyes appropriately when stressed by it and talk poorly about it when it enrages me, but I like it. I like the regularity of it, the expectations of it and really, the busy work it creates for me. It guarantees me work throughout the week. Today, is my first day of the Spring semester and my class is gonna be a good one, Curriculum design. I know, I lost most if not all of you at "I enjoy school" but this is going to be a great class, I feel it! It's totally relevant to what I want to be when I grow up and how I want to teach. I'm so anxious, I might even start the reading today even though it's not due to start until Wednesday evening.
Didn't I say I was a nerd, now I've confirmed it for everyone who shook their heads no. I am and it's okay. Now, I have to go read... leave me alone! (c: hee hee
Didn't I say I was a nerd, now I've confirmed it for everyone who shook their heads no. I am and it's okay. Now, I have to go read... leave me alone! (c: hee hee
Monday, January 5, 2009
Life 102
Greetings and Happy New Year!
Just uploaded a few shots from the last few weeks of life at 225 Baynton, nothing much happening these days.
Had dinner with my old (not in age but in length of time as friends) friend Sara, who had a good time playing Tyra Banks with my camera and in front of the camera...believe me I only uploaded two here but there are plenty more in my computer!
And then the ever adorable, totally cute and lovable nephew of mine, Lucas. Rockin' out on the drums! Love him!
Hope all are well!
Just uploaded a few shots from the last few weeks of life at 225 Baynton, nothing much happening these days.
Had dinner with my old (not in age but in length of time as friends) friend Sara, who had a good time playing Tyra Banks with my camera and in front of the camera...believe me I only uploaded two here but there are plenty more in my computer!
And then the ever adorable, totally cute and lovable nephew of mine, Lucas. Rockin' out on the drums! Love him!
Hope all are well!
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