Wednesday, November 24, 2010

Oh my aching...

well, i'm about to enter my second trimester and my fingers, toes, eyes, and any other appendage that is crossable is crossed that I will start feeling better very soon. I've just been so freaking nauseous that I'm irritable. The last week has been the worst yet, but today (and I don't want to jinx myself) I've been much improved. My nausea was restricted to two times... that's really good as before it was simply constant nausea. I dry heaved once, so it's really good. Friday marks the start of week 14 and 2nd trimester, so hold your breath for me. I am feeling more energetic though, and from what I read that's how the second trimester is. here's hoping.
Here's a debate Joc and I are having (although it's not really a debate as she says she'll go with whatever I want): finding out the sex of the child. I'm all for surprise at the delivery but she's leaning towards finding out for planning, naming and bonding pre-birth. I don't feel like it's that big of a deal to find out or not, I mean we're having a baby- it's gonna be a boy or a girl. What's the big deal?! We have 5 more weeks as the ultrasound won't happen till week 19 or 20, it ain't even scheduled yet so there's plenty of time to decide.

Class is nearing an end, and I'm so ready! I keep looking at these students and thinking, "was I this slow and scared as a student nurse?!" I don't think so. Every single clinical day is a day of trying my patience. It's consistently, what I would never say to their faces, stupid questions... just irritating and what I consider obvious reasoning. Like, screwing on a needle to draw up some drugs from a vial and saying, "wait, i don't see how this fits together" Seriously!!! They are a perfect fit?!!!! But, of course, I keep the steam from spewing from my ears and the frustration out of my voice and just say, "it fits, why don't you see what you can figure out". UGh. It's possible that my pregnancy hormones could be contributing but sometimes I just want to push them aside and said, "watch me do this". Or my one of my favorites, we were gonna give an IVpush med via a central line (sorry non medical friends, i'm gonna lose you for a moment) and we drew up the lasix, had a flush. We go into the patient's room, and the student proceeds to clean the hub of the line then the syringe end, then the hub, then the syringe. I said, "whatcha doing?" and she said, "well it could be dirty" I said, "did you drop it on the ground? Or maybe licked it after you drew it up?" she giggled. I was dead serious. I said, with the family in the room and watching, "we took it out of sterile packaging, drew from a clean top and sterile container then ambulated directly to the room. All the while, holding the syringe in your hand, covered. How would it have become dirty?" Lord help me. My other favorite was when I asked the student to go look at the antibiotic hanging so I could verify it in the MAR and she came back and told me it was Penicillin Strawberry. (I'll let you take a moment to giggle because she said it with a straight face) I said, those sound more like allergies than an antibiotic... could you look again? Oy.
Now, don't get me wrong. I like the interactions (usually) and the teaching aspect is fun. But nursing school is ancient. The things they teach sometimes are so old school then they get into the field and they say "why didn't they teach us this in school?" The honest answer, most of the teachers haven't been at a bedside since Florence Nightingale was nursing. For these reasons, I feel that I can't just quit because it's been a challenge. It'll probably get better, this group of students might not be the greatest and smartest but they'll still make good nurses. No one is unsafe, cleaning a syringe and hub isn't going to kill anyone, it's just gonna take extra time. They will eventually learn the "real" way nursing is practiced at the bedside... I just hate to contribute to the statement, "I didn't learn anything in nursing school."

1 comment:

Jen said...

Hey lady,
Sorry to hear you are still feeling miserable. Mine finally cleared up about 2 weeks ago (around the end of week 13), so there is hope yet!
As for finding out the sex - I highly recommend waiting... Imaging the excitment you will feel going into that ultrasound where you CAN find out the sex and multiply that by 10. THAT'S how you will feel waiting until he or she is born. Also, (and I've only done this thing once so far, so I don't REALLY have a comparison but) I think not knowing ahead of time takes some of the edge off of the pain during delivery because you are just so excited and anxious to find out what it is! So those are my thoughts on that...
Work will get better too. I can almost guarentee you that 90% of that frustration is due to hormones and feeling nauseous all the time. None of us can possibly be patient ALL the time and it's SO MUCH HARDER to pretend when you are pregnant and feeling miserable! Hang in there! I'm sure those kids are learning a TON from you!