Thursday, June 23, 2011

oh baby!

Patrick is 3 weeks old as of tomorrow, he's getting bigger every day.  His face has filled out, cheeks starting to plump up, his legs, arms, hands and feet are even pudgier.  He's also fussier and cries easier these days.  Yesterday, I was reading about how to sooth a baby- the 5 Ss according to a pediatrician who made a video and wrote a book and is retired and wealthy I'm sure.  (swaddle, shake (but not as in shaken baby), shhh noises, suck and one other that I can't quite recall...)  It's hard to listen to his cry, but sometimes I think he's just learning his voice and letting it out feels good.  He's also very good at fighting sleep and he's not the biggest pacifier fan, especially when I try to give it to him.  I can almost hear him saying, "i know that's you ma, i can smell the milk on you!  Now, whip it out and let me calm myself down".  I'm a sucker, I usually comply.  Which makes me read about babies who use their mom's breast as a pacifier.  From what I can gather, it's up to the mom whether that's the role she wants to take on...apparently I am a willing participant.  My nipples are complying for now... Joc can get him to take the pacifier... I can't stand to see him gag and scream for those precious few moments before he takes it and falls soundly to sleep.  Then, you have to look at the consequences to the pacifier.  Again, from what I read (because sometimes that's all I have to go on people!), it's safe to let your babe use one (as long as breastfeeding is going well) until 4-6 months of age.  That's the key time to remove it from his life and he "shouldn't" care (according to these nice folks who write all these books).  So, for now, we'll use it when he can stand it... so that we can sooth him.

And then I sit back and think about life for Joc and I now.  I mean, look at this blog.  It's become all about the baby.  Is this what my life is now?  People drop by to visit and Joc and I talk about Patrick the whole time... he does this, he likes this, labor was like this, breastfeeding is good... We try to ask about them, to remember what made us friends in the first place... but we always come back to Patrick.  A few of our friends are coming in from out of town over the 4th, we were gonna get together at a house here in GR and have a cook out, bonfire, hang out.  Now, the plan is to go tubing down the river (sounds like a ton of fun, would love to do this, it would be great to get some Vitamin D... I can almost feel the river pulling my tube down stream, the cold beer in my hand, the sun warming my face and arms... ahhhh) and then have food then go out downtown.  "Can't you get a babysitter?" ummm.. for my 1 month old child who eats about every 30-45 minutes?  Probably not a good plan for us, even though I'd love to.... We passed on the tubing, but  they are going out Friday night instead, so Saturday we can bring the pack n'play, and hang out till later.  Still, it's the stuff you have to think about like, even if I have a babysitter, my boobs are still gonna need to be pumped... not sure how that would work on the river (c: even if I get a babysitter and work out the pumping on the river, I have a few too many beers, and get home a little too late, I'm still gonna have to wake up with PJ over night and in the morning and function... which I haven't had a few too many in about a year now so I'm not sure how I would recover... I can tell you Joc takes a half to full day to recover from a stupor.  It's just not a good plan...
Maybe in 3 months, when P's into a schedule and eating more consistently and he's older and leaving him will be easier because we'll be back at work.  Maybe in 3 years... but then I might be pregnant again or have another newborn...
Is this what life has become now for us?  It's good, we are very much enjoying this life... but sometimes, just sometimes, I miss the freedom that we had when it was just us and Cooper (who I can throw in the kennel for half the day without worry).  But then the other days, I don't miss the freedom, I don't miss spending the money on ridiculous amounts a food or drink at a restaurant.  We just have to get to know this life a little better and appreciate and recall what we had... but love what we have now.  I wouldn't trade Patrick for anything, not even that delightful trip down the river. (c:

2 comments:

Oli and Kelly said...

girlfriend, I lost track of your blog. I'm glad I found you again! I'm so glad we'll be hanging out all night saturday, that sound PERFECT to me (well, us)!!! Can't wait!

Jen said...

Yes, dear. This is what your life has become. And yes, it's perfectly normal to sometimes miss that freedom, but in a year or so when you are ready to find a babysitter and go out, you'll find it's suddenly not so fun and you'll find yourself constantly thinking about Patrick and missing him and being ready to get home to him... And then when he's 2.5, you'll be wondering who will be willing to take him for a week!!! :) Love your updates. Beautiful pics! Can't wait to meet him!