It's that time of year again, the first three months are usually the harder of the 12 for me. I'll simply say my brother died January 10th, 1994, my dad March 9, 1996. I remember them this time of year more than any other time. I know I've written of them and won't go into the details or my emotions again. The emotions that are muted now, less real and even forgotten at times. But I always remember, I always think of Brian and my dad. They are here in my heart and my mind, no matter the time that passes.
But more recently, I've been bogged down by thoughts of my own mortality. My father was almost 44 years old when he died. That's not that far off for me now. I imagine my 43rd year of life will be a hard one. I worry about dying. Leaving these kids and Joc behind with only the memories of me to sustain them. In my line of work, I've seen tragedy and those stories that make you thankful for the days you have on this earth but selfishly, I pray to God I will get more than 15 years with my kids, I pray I'll get to see them grow up and become the persons of quality I know they are capable of becoming. Please. Let me live a longer life than my father before me. Please.
Think of Brian and Roger Gable in these months, think of their souls and pray they are with God and at peace. Pray they can see what we've become and that we miss them.