A few pictures

PJ makes the funniest mouth faces, I can hardly wait till he can smile and interact more. 

Just having some play time on the activity center... he does tummy time but usually starts crying after a few minutes... I would too if I couldn't quite pick up and hold my head, soon very soon!

Just me, Patrick and Cooper chilling.  Cooper used to be a staple on my lap, and for a few weeks she didn't sit there at all.  But most recently, she has resumed her lapdog status, especially when I'm feeding PJ.  She's warming up to him, they'll be best buds I just know it!

oh baby!

Patrick is 3 weeks old as of tomorrow, he's getting bigger every day.  His face has filled out, cheeks starting to plump up, his legs, arms, hands and feet are even pudgier.  He's also fussier and cries easier these days.  Yesterday, I was reading about how to sooth a baby- the 5 Ss according to a pediatrician who made a video and wrote a book and is retired and wealthy I'm sure.  (swaddle, shake (but not as in shaken baby), shhh noises, suck and one other that I can't quite recall...)  It's hard to listen to his cry, but sometimes I think he's just learning his voice and letting it out feels good.  He's also very good at fighting sleep and he's not the biggest pacifier fan, especially when I try to give it to him.  I can almost hear him saying, "i know that's you ma, i can smell the milk on you!  Now, whip it out and let me calm myself down".  I'm a sucker, I usually comply.  Which makes me read about babies who use their mom's breast as a pacifier.  From what I can gather, it's up to the mom whether that's the role she wants to take on...apparently I am a willing participant.  My nipples are complying for now... Joc can get him to take the pacifier... I can't stand to see him gag and scream for those precious few moments before he takes it and falls soundly to sleep.  Then, you have to look at the consequences to the pacifier.  Again, from what I read (because sometimes that's all I have to go on people!), it's safe to let your babe use one (as long as breastfeeding is going well) until 4-6 months of age.  That's the key time to remove it from his life and he "shouldn't" care (according to these nice folks who write all these books).  So, for now, we'll use it when he can stand it... so that we can sooth him.

And then I sit back and think about life for Joc and I now.  I mean, look at this blog.  It's become all about the baby.  Is this what my life is now?  People drop by to visit and Joc and I talk about Patrick the whole time... he does this, he likes this, labor was like this, breastfeeding is good... We try to ask about them, to remember what made us friends in the first place... but we always come back to Patrick.  A few of our friends are coming in from out of town over the 4th, we were gonna get together at a house here in GR and have a cook out, bonfire, hang out.  Now, the plan is to go tubing down the river (sounds like a ton of fun, would love to do this, it would be great to get some Vitamin D... I can almost feel the river pulling my tube down stream, the cold beer in my hand, the sun warming my face and arms... ahhhh) and then have food then go out downtown.  "Can't you get a babysitter?" ummm.. for my 1 month old child who eats about every 30-45 minutes?  Probably not a good plan for us, even though I'd love to.... We passed on the tubing, but  they are going out Friday night instead, so Saturday we can bring the pack n'play, and hang out till later.  Still, it's the stuff you have to think about like, even if I have a babysitter, my boobs are still gonna need to be pumped... not sure how that would work on the river (c: even if I get a babysitter and work out the pumping on the river, I have a few too many beers, and get home a little too late, I'm still gonna have to wake up with PJ over night and in the morning and function... which I haven't had a few too many in about a year now so I'm not sure how I would recover... I can tell you Joc takes a half to full day to recover from a stupor.  It's just not a good plan...
Maybe in 3 months, when P's into a schedule and eating more consistently and he's older and leaving him will be easier because we'll be back at work.  Maybe in 3 years... but then I might be pregnant again or have another newborn...
Is this what life has become now for us?  It's good, we are very much enjoying this life... but sometimes, just sometimes, I miss the freedom that we had when it was just us and Cooper (who I can throw in the kennel for half the day without worry).  But then the other days, I don't miss the freedom, I don't miss spending the money on ridiculous amounts a food or drink at a restaurant.  We just have to get to know this life a little better and appreciate and recall what we had... but love what we have now.  I wouldn't trade Patrick for anything, not even that delightful trip down the river. (c:

He's arrived!! (finally!)

I won't bore you with all the gorey details, but Patrick Jude Gable Hodack has arrived!!  We were induced on Thursday afternoon, it was a long and drawn out and often times painful (anywhere from 2/10 for the little, early contractions, to 8/10 for full out labor... and that was with an epidural!)  I was on a pitossin drip for the majority of the time, off  here and there when there were heart rate decelerations on the baby monitor.  I had my water broken, multiple attempts to place a catheter through my cervix to open it, and too many hands up my vagina to check my progress.  It wasn't the funnest thing I've ever done... but the end result is pretty great.  And, it's sorta true what they say, you forget the bad to remember the good.  (I can still easily recall the bad but it's still pretty fresh, give me a few months.)
So, the official statistics:  born 6/3/2011 at 23:40 (everyone in the room thought he'd arrive after midnight but once I got down to the business of pushing, it just progressed nicely), he was 8lbs, 3oz, 23 1/4 inches long (he had a cone head that has since gone away and we think that gave him the extra 1/4 inch so we don't even report it usually).  He has been a pretty good baby, we had some latching issues on the first night but now we're getting by fabulously.  He already had his first pediatrician check up, was back up to 8lbs (had discharged at 7, 14) and is doing splendid.
I'm feeling pretty good.  Someone asked if I missed being pregnant, and I said, "heck no!"  I can wear my old clothes (pretty much... i'm still deflating but I can wear my comfy clothes...), I can see my feet (which have deflated as well from a +4 or 5, seriously, edema to scant of none), I can shave my legs by bending over completely without any discomfort, I can lay on my belly (although my breast now are too full and tender to do this just yet).  I wasn't the biggest fan of pregnancy but I'd do it again for the little guy.
So, I'll try to update the blog with occassional pics and events... life should get even more exciting from here on out! (c:

Please stop asking me...

I think it's the hormones, really I do.  I'm not usually this irritable and pissy... at least I hope I'm not going to be forever.

Most people mean well, I know they do, and I laugh it off because that's more what my personality is like.  But why do people feel they need to give their 25 cents?  Have I been like that in the past?  It makes me wonder what I've said to people...

Here's my list of Things to not say to a 37+ week pregnant woman: (and my responses or internal thoughts to their comments)
1. still no baby? (yup, I had it just didn't tell anyone)
2. you must be miserable (well, I'm not horribly miserable but I'm done with this abdomen and not seeing anything below my gut)
3. still here? (yes, yes I am.  Can you stop asking me this now?  If you see me, you can pretty much assume that 1. i'm still pregnant 2. i haven't had the baby and 3.  i'm not in the mood to answer your well-meaning questions.)
4. you haven't dropped, with your first, you have a good 2 weeks after you've dropped. (This said to me on my due date... I was so ready to jump across the table at the woman.  hormones, right?)
5. are your feet swollen?  (no, they usually look like this)
6. aren't you cute? (i'm not a cute person, never have been, never will be.  It's life, and I'm 30 years old so I think I'd know if I were cute.  It's the same way I feel when people call old people "cute".  I do not wish to be called cute as an adult nor as an old woman with wrinkles and a sense of humor.)
7. when's your due date?  (fill in my date here) So are you having a C-section? (not that I'm planning on).  So how do you know that's the date? (ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME???!!!)
8. you should eat something spicy, i ate some jalepeno's with my first and went into labor right after that. (Right, I'll take that into consideration... the heartburn is not worth it!)
9.  Sex, you should have sex.  (right, because sperm is what is the most helpful part of sex and since we paid some decent dollar amounts for the sperm that met my egg in my fallopian tube, I'm just gonna wait it out here... and no, I'm not taking volunteers for sperm donation!!)
10. Do you want to know what made me go into labor?  (no, I don't because I'm a nurse and I read research crap and I know that there is absolutely no scientific evidence to support any of those old wives tales about what causes people to go into labor.  What I need is prostaglandin and uterine contractions... which the baby has to secrete in order to start dilating this damn cervix.)
11.  Do you know what you're having?  (nope)  You don't want to know? (Well, yeah we do but we also wanted to keep it a surprise) So are you gonna find out?  (hopefully in the next few FUCKING weeks you idiot!)
12.  You should go for a long walk. (yup, been walking this whole pregnancy..)
13.  When's your due date?  (may 26th) I sit back and watch as pure confusion crosses this person's face.  So, what does that make you?  (stupid for standing here, talking to you still) (this one also drives me mad when people I work with or people I speak to frequently, have asked me this multiple times through the pregnancy.  I know it's not their job to remember nor do they really care what the date is... then stop asking me.  AND when I tell them, end of May, then they say, well what day?  I've taken to saying, you won't remember anyway so I'm not telling you again.  It's mean, I know... but what can I say?!)

I'm laughing here as I write all these, because I know people mean well but I think it comes back to my comedian friend, Bill Engvall, who says, "stupid people should have to wear signs that say 'i'm stupid'.  That way you won't ask them for anything.  You'd be like, 'excuse me, oops, never mind, i didn't see your sign'".  I mean, do they hear the words as they come outta their mouths?  Again, it comes down to my hormones, my emotions and the overall feeling of "This is a big prank.  I'm not really pregnant and there's never going to be baby that comes outta here."  So, I usually smile and answer their questions without making them feel badly, although I'm getting worse at this as the pregnancy progresses.  And really, I'm just bitchy.  I can blame it on the baby, hell, he or she is hanging out in my uterus overstaying their welcome so I think I'm entitled to feeling a little irrational at times.  

Please, don't feel badly if you've said or asked any of the things above... really, it's me, not you.  (c:

***Actually, this has been a helpful decompression... hopefully you chuckled as you read this and didn't take it personally.***  
 

Identity Theft

My sister called me at the end of April, reporting a collections notice in my name at her address in Columbus OH.  She called to inquire with the company and found that someone had opened an account in my name, with my social security number and date of birth, then hadn't paid a bill of $160.  I mean, if you were going to do some damage, wouldn't you choose something a little bigger?  Well, in filing reports and complaints and paperwork and calls, I've thoroughly reviewed all 3 of my credit reports (because there are 3 agencies.. the things I'm learning!) and found 2 additional breaches in my identity.  For the love of mike! That measly $160 is now a measly $2,271 for a US Cellular account and another measly $254 for, get this, an Ice Mountain Spring Water account.  If this weren't so irritating, it'd be funny. Today, as I called the Federal Trade Commission to update my identity theft affidavit, the nice lady on the phone casually says, "in reviewing the thefts, it appears that the person may have attempted to open a small business in your name and SSN". WHAT?!!  Is that freakin' possible?!  After chatting it up with the IRS, there have been no new businesses opened under my name, so thank goodness for that!

I've been to the GRPD twice, have to go again tonight to get an officer's signature for the first of possibly three fraud packets I have to complete and mail in to prove that I did not in fact, live in Chicago in 2010 but in Grand Rapids MI.

What a pain.  All for a cell phone account, a U-verse account and some water.  What's wrong with these people?  Why can't they get a job, use their own shit and leave mine alone?

I haven't been stressed about it all, it's just tedious and my butt hurts from the hours, literally, sitting in front of my computer and on the phone.  I have pages of records of who I spoke to, for which company and when and what they said.  There have been tears when US Cellular wouldn't release information about this alleged account and the collection agency wouldn't either... I mean, it's my freakin' SSN, and I ain't paying just to pay!  The good news is once I complete the police report and the paperwork, I can have the collections off my credit report and I won't owe any money... but there's always that looming chance they'll use it again.

Moral of the story:  check your credit reports occasionally.  Mine have 3 addresses in Chicago where I've never lived... see who is doing credit inquiries and call them to see why if you haven't authorized it.  If Michelle hadn't gotten that notice, I wouldn't know anything about it and who knows when I would have... maybe when I apply for a new credit card or loan... it's good to be in the know.