It's quite amazing the difference at the hospital from weekend to weekday. There's a quiet on the weekends that seaps away around 6am Monday morning, not to be felt again until Friday night around 7pm. The buzz that ignites with the doctors rounding, the med students looking at charts, day shift arriving and night shift holding onto the last hour of their quiet night. I prefer the buzz, I look forward to that energy to revive me for that last hour of wakefulness that some nights I just don't possess.
So starts another week at the hospital, but this place is not a Monday through Friday gig, we don't hold the hours of 8-5. Most days I'm glad for the break a three day work week provides, other times I wish for shorted shifts. Some shifts, 12 hours feels like one hour and other 12 hour shifts feel like 24 hours, just depends on the patients. Tonight was a mixed bag.
I'll leave you with those thoughts.
Monday, May 11, 2009
Thursday, May 7, 2009
Life update
What's the point of blogging anymore with Facebook? I feel like my life is no longer as exciting as when I was doing the travel thing so to blog about it is uninteresting. That's why I don't blog much anymore, there's not much to blog about!
This is a picture of me and a couple friends, Jody and Nicole, at Tulip Festival in Holland, MI. We decided to venture out and see what it's all about since none of us had even attended. Let me say that I believe that it's a big deal to people who have been involved with it since they were kids and are now passing on the tradition to their kids. It wasn't too exciting to us four, liberal, non-Dutch gay Catholics! (c: There was a dancing thing in the street and these girls (all girls) were dressed up in Dutch outfits and doing a Dutch dance but that was about it. We spent the majority of our time grabbing a bite to eat and a cider at New Holland Brewery, now that was worth it! Ha!
Any way, I'm about to take my final exam for my class. I'm off for the summer so I'm looking forward to that, just being free of required readings and postings and writing for a couple months. I start clinicals in August, I will be student teaching in a Nursing program! This I am looking forward to. And I will be teaching at my alma mater, Aquinas/UDM with a professor I had back in the day (4.5 years ago) Sister Linda. I'm a bit excited to get into a classroom and see what it's all about from the front of the class, I definitely know what it's like to sit behind a desk and sleep through lectures (c:
In other news, Joc and I have pretty much completed a landscaping project that was pretty HUGE by our standards. Last weekend we had 6 yards of river rock delivered (yes 6 yards and if you don't know how much that is, it's A LOT), see in the backyard we had a "flower bed, scrubbery area" that Joc cut out all the trees and dug up all the day lillies a year or so ago. She spread mulch and planted five of those decorative grass thingys but the rains washed away much of the mulch and it was constantly muddy and looking bad so she decided that river rock would look nice there. So we carried all 6 yards of river rock back there, spread it out and it looks great. That wasn't the end of the project, we also made a ring around a tree in the back, put rocks around that and the biggest thing we did was lay sod in the back. 3 yards of top soil, spread out over the clay we had for dirt, topped off by 3 pallets of sod now cover our yard. It looks fabulous, if I do say so myself. I'm watering like a mad man or woman, it took me about 3 hours yesterday to water the whole yard and it rained last night, so I can do it all again in the evening. Have to keep it pretty wet in the first week or so, to allow germination or whatever it is. Here's hoping it takes!!! We took before and after pictures so I'll upload them and post them soon, so you can get an idea of the magnitude of work it was. My body was so soar the day after, it's getting better though.
I started off saying there was nothing to blog about and here I am rambling. Off to take my exam, wish me luck!!
Wednesday, April 8, 2009
Obsessed
Joc calls it obsessed, I like to think of it as a strong affinity... to Twilight. I know what many of you might be thinking (or none of you...whatever!), Twilight, how pathetic... yadda yadda yadda... but I enjoyed reading all four books and I've embraced the first movie even if it's not the best adaptation of the book but whatever. I gave in and bought the movie and yes, I've watched it more than a handful of times in the last week, like I said, obsession/affinity for... debateable really (c: Anyway, I believe I keep watching the movie because I lent the books to a co-worker and I really want to re-read them but can't. So instead, I watch the movie over and over because it's all I have right now.
Well, in my obsession I discovered a new musical talent and it happens to be "Edward", Rob Pattinson. There are two of his songs in the movie and because the director kept talking about how great a musician he is, I googled his music and found about 6 songs that he performed in various bars in London (he's a Brit). He hasn't done any recording (other than the two songs in Twilight), isn't planning on recordign more, isn't performing at the moment and my disappointment lies in the fact that he probably won't ever be able to perform in public again like he did before Twilight because of his huge popularity. Which means I might never get to buy an album of his or get to fully appreciate his sound in public. I've bookmarked this website and have truley been moved by his music. He has an amazing voice and lyrics that speak to you, I have a weakness for talented musicians that aren't exactly "mainstream". So, I'll post the link and you can check it out if you like.
I'm thinking my obsession will subside in a week or two, but once I get my books back I plan to read them again and then I'll feel better. Then I can find a new obsession (c:
Crazy, I know believe me, I know.
http://www.robert-pattinson.co.uk/music/
Well, in my obsession I discovered a new musical talent and it happens to be "Edward", Rob Pattinson. There are two of his songs in the movie and because the director kept talking about how great a musician he is, I googled his music and found about 6 songs that he performed in various bars in London (he's a Brit). He hasn't done any recording (other than the two songs in Twilight), isn't planning on recordign more, isn't performing at the moment and my disappointment lies in the fact that he probably won't ever be able to perform in public again like he did before Twilight because of his huge popularity. Which means I might never get to buy an album of his or get to fully appreciate his sound in public. I've bookmarked this website and have truley been moved by his music. He has an amazing voice and lyrics that speak to you, I have a weakness for talented musicians that aren't exactly "mainstream". So, I'll post the link and you can check it out if you like.
I'm thinking my obsession will subside in a week or two, but once I get my books back I plan to read them again and then I'll feel better. Then I can find a new obsession (c:
Crazy, I know believe me, I know.
http://www.robert-pattinson.co.uk/music/
Sunday, March 29, 2009
Deep thoughts
It's Sunday night, I have no real reason to post anything but feel it's been awhile since my last posting. I find it ironic that it is cold, wet and snowy tonight as it was when I last posted... funny how life works, but there have been sunny days between these snowy ones and time seems to have passed as it always does.
I thought I'd have a sentimental, somewhat sad, thoughtful post today, for no reason other than it's how I feel right now. When I was in high school I used to write a lot, and when I say a lot, I mean it. I have journals that I filled with my teenage angst, frustrations, depression, anger, fear, and sadness. There was a lot of sadness back then, life wasn't exactly easy but I still found little joys threaded into my existence. It's a little crazy to me now, to look back and read some of my journal entries. I was in a dark place for many of them, a place I haven't been for a very long time, which I'm grateful for but there are odd times throughout my days that I miss the darkness. There was a familiarity about it, a warm inside it that became a safe place. It's hard to explain, and I'm not saying I'd go back but there are times that I think, "I used to be complicated, I'm not complicated anymore". It was exhausting then, as life is not anymore. Life is easier, less heavy. Remember, I told you this was going to be a thoughtful posting, stick with me or bail now... whatever you choose, I'm okay with it. (c:
I had the opportunity to revisit a CD that I used to be drawn to and in finding this CD I encountered others from my past. CDs that defined my emotional well being at the time that I listened to them, CDs I haven't listened to in years, they've grown dusty and forgotten. As I listened to this CD, Little Earthquakes by Tori Amos, I was taken back. I remembered knowing every single lyric back then and now, struggled to remember the chorus to some of the songs. Forgotten pathways from youth, cobwebs strewn about, re-tracing the words.
Life is funny that way, it carries on. If there's one thing you learn from death is that life is continuous. No matter who it is, or how monumental the loss, life just keeps on. Some days that is the hardest part of loss.
The beginning of every year is difficult for me, this year marks the 15th year my brother has been dead, and the 13th year my dad has been gone. My brother, Brian, was 15 when he died. It wasn't until the anniversary that I realized this, that he has been dead the exact amount of years he lived. What does this mean, really? To me, it's frightening, I've already "outlived" him but now, life has evolved to a point that for every year that passes means he's been dead longer than he lived. This is extremely sad to me, and difficult to process. I think about it often, I try to remember him better this year than the last 14, but as I said before, life goes on.
A patient died recently that maybe shouldn't have died, this is always difficult for me. There were many factors contributing to her death but my interactions could have affected the outcome. It's hard not to relive every minute leading up to her demise but I have, repeatedly. I've begun to let it go, I'm working through it, dealing with it and moving on, hoping that the next patient I encounter with the same signs and symptoms I can take that experience and learn from it. I suppose I just wish it had not been at the cost of her life. Again, life moves on.
So I'll end this posting, let it soak in and let time pass and see what's up for my life next.
Until next time...
I thought I'd have a sentimental, somewhat sad, thoughtful post today, for no reason other than it's how I feel right now. When I was in high school I used to write a lot, and when I say a lot, I mean it. I have journals that I filled with my teenage angst, frustrations, depression, anger, fear, and sadness. There was a lot of sadness back then, life wasn't exactly easy but I still found little joys threaded into my existence. It's a little crazy to me now, to look back and read some of my journal entries. I was in a dark place for many of them, a place I haven't been for a very long time, which I'm grateful for but there are odd times throughout my days that I miss the darkness. There was a familiarity about it, a warm inside it that became a safe place. It's hard to explain, and I'm not saying I'd go back but there are times that I think, "I used to be complicated, I'm not complicated anymore". It was exhausting then, as life is not anymore. Life is easier, less heavy. Remember, I told you this was going to be a thoughtful posting, stick with me or bail now... whatever you choose, I'm okay with it. (c:
I had the opportunity to revisit a CD that I used to be drawn to and in finding this CD I encountered others from my past. CDs that defined my emotional well being at the time that I listened to them, CDs I haven't listened to in years, they've grown dusty and forgotten. As I listened to this CD, Little Earthquakes by Tori Amos, I was taken back. I remembered knowing every single lyric back then and now, struggled to remember the chorus to some of the songs. Forgotten pathways from youth, cobwebs strewn about, re-tracing the words.
Life is funny that way, it carries on. If there's one thing you learn from death is that life is continuous. No matter who it is, or how monumental the loss, life just keeps on. Some days that is the hardest part of loss.
The beginning of every year is difficult for me, this year marks the 15th year my brother has been dead, and the 13th year my dad has been gone. My brother, Brian, was 15 when he died. It wasn't until the anniversary that I realized this, that he has been dead the exact amount of years he lived. What does this mean, really? To me, it's frightening, I've already "outlived" him but now, life has evolved to a point that for every year that passes means he's been dead longer than he lived. This is extremely sad to me, and difficult to process. I think about it often, I try to remember him better this year than the last 14, but as I said before, life goes on.
A patient died recently that maybe shouldn't have died, this is always difficult for me. There were many factors contributing to her death but my interactions could have affected the outcome. It's hard not to relive every minute leading up to her demise but I have, repeatedly. I've begun to let it go, I'm working through it, dealing with it and moving on, hoping that the next patient I encounter with the same signs and symptoms I can take that experience and learn from it. I suppose I just wish it had not been at the cost of her life. Again, life moves on.
So I'll end this posting, let it soak in and let time pass and see what's up for my life next.
Until next time...
Wednesday, March 11, 2009
Is it really snowing???!!!
Seriously, now?! It's just too damn depressing is what I say! I'm sick of cold, wet and windy winter! It's time to be done and it's time to be warm and sunny again, just for a little while.
I walked out of work the other morning and it was raining and cold, I groaned appropriately and a co-worker said, "at least it's not snow!" and I said, "I'm just ready to gripe about how hot it is..." Cuz I will, summer will come and it'll be hot and sunny and I'll have sweat dripping down my back and under my boobs and I'll be complaining and wishing it was just a few degrees cooler. I mean, seriously, I'm never content I know this. Sigh. Life is hard (c:
Nothing going on around these parts, except the weather, new unit is going ok. Lots of growing pains, kinks to work through and lessons to learn.
So long for now!
I walked out of work the other morning and it was raining and cold, I groaned appropriately and a co-worker said, "at least it's not snow!" and I said, "I'm just ready to gripe about how hot it is..." Cuz I will, summer will come and it'll be hot and sunny and I'll have sweat dripping down my back and under my boobs and I'll be complaining and wishing it was just a few degrees cooler. I mean, seriously, I'm never content I know this. Sigh. Life is hard (c:
Nothing going on around these parts, except the weather, new unit is going ok. Lots of growing pains, kinks to work through and lessons to learn.
So long for now!
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