Sunday, July 20, 2008

Here' to Eddie Vedder

Did you see the movie Into the Wild? Well, I loved it and the soundtrack is all Eddie d and I'm listening to one of his songs now, it's very political/opinionated. He's basically mocking many of the people who are in government. It's a good song when you stop and listen to the lyrics. It's called "here's to the state" and if you support George W. (Sorry julie!) you may not find it as amusing as me but if not, take a second to find it on Itunes and take a listen.
It's a HOT weekend here in Denver, according to my phone (which has weather on it) it's about 99 degrees out. Needless to say, I've been inside most of today, finished another book (hee hee), went for a nice run (well, I shouldn't say nice since I was on the treadmill but I got a 5K in so that's good for a treadmill run), and now I'm working on homework. Is everyone sitting down? You should be, because the next thing I'm going to write will make you want to sit.... I'm going to church at 5 tonight! I've always considered myself a spiritual person, I have strayed far from the Catholic Church, I struggle with the beliefs and requirements that seem to exist. Joc and I talk frequently about faith and going to Mass in Grand Rapids but we just never make it. I guess you could say that I lost my trust in the faith in many ways. I never lost God, this I know for certain but the organization of mass and the monotony are hard for me now. At Aquinas, I found a lot of comfort from attending church at the chapel on campus, something about the intimate setting and the non-judgmental atmosphere were so familiar and comfortable. I struggle to understand the interpretations of the Bible and the ways people are condemned so easily for "sins" that other humans get to deem sins. So, tonight I will go to mass, and I'll see what God has in store for me. I'm not one to write or talk too explicetly about my faith, this might be the only time you'll see it written out or spoken about directly, but I'm looking forward to this opportunity. I feel as though I'm growing and learning about myself just a bit more. I feel confident in my decision to come out west but am getting to the point where I know that this dream that I held so long ago of traveling the country and being "free" are fulfilled and a new phase of life is about to start. Don't get me wrong, I still have dreams and I still want more from life, but I'm more and more certain that home might just be Grand Rapids, MI and I just might be content in living there with Joc and being the best versions of ourselves while we are together. (Sorry my Saints friends who never realized or figured out that I am gay, it's a long story about why I don't just come out and say it but I guess here I am, saying it). And I'm more and more certain that Saint Mary's ICU with its 14 beds, sometimes slow and sometimes crazy times, is my second home.
So, anyway, those are some deep thoughts for a hot Sunday, but that's what you get today. Hope that's alright.

Well, I better get just a bit more homework done while I'm still semi-focused and hopefully I can get downtown as I want to tomorrow to see a few things so I can get some pictures posted.
Oh, my haircut went really well, I like it. I added a few shots i took on my computer. I've sort of decided to grow it a bit, for my little sister's wedding in September. So, I found a really great place that gave me what I consider to be a hip, fun cut. It's not spikey, the back is short enough (I'm keeping it shorter until the rest grows in a bit) but I've been enjoying it so much that I'm considering making it my new do....we'll see where life leads me. I'm in it for the adventure, right? Don't stop now! (c:

Be well!


Jen said...

Gable!!! You crack me up woman! :) I'm so glad you are enjoying yourself out west. I know it can be stressful sometimes being away for such a long period of time, but always remember to "enjoy the now" instead of looking to the future!! You've always been so good at that! :) Miss you lots girly!

Kelly said...

hey gabes!
I thouroughly enjoyed that last post (dont correct my spelling there ok?) First of all because i have a deep love of Eddie Vedder and I like hearing that others find him as enjoyable. I love to hear all his veiw on politics. I dont always agree (but usually do) but i love hearing him talk/sing so openly about it. I once went to a concert where he wore a george w. mask and sang a pretty ridiculous and offensive song...loved it!
That post took some guts, very open and honest...kudos :)
Miss you tons around here, everyone will be so glad you're coming back! keep up the blog lady!

Sailor RN said...

Jenn, i like your cut it looks good. All these changes at saints!!! For all those going to better make blogs so we can all keep up with you!!!!!!!!